The Destructive Nature of Love
by Red Knight
Summary: The fiends have gathered together to create one giant force of evil and power that has one goal in mind: to take over all of Spira. As the Gullwings try to save their world one last time, an unlikely romance begins. (YunaxPaine)
1. Knight in Shining Armor

**The Destructive Nature of Love**

By Red Knight

**Summary:** The fiends have gathered together to create one giant force of evil and power that has one goal in mind: to take over all of Spira. As the Gullwings try to save their world one last time, an unlikely romance begins.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of these characters at all. Nor do I own the game or anything. The plot is the only thing that is original.

**Note:** This is a different take on Final Fantasy X-2. Most of the events have not happened and all that is set up for us is that Yuna is having her nightmares and the Gullwings are a group with spheres in mind. That's about it. A few spoilers I suppose for FF X-2 and major spoilers for FFX. Just a warning.  
Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 1- Knight in Shining Armor**

I was trapped in a tower, in a castle, with a Mega Tonberry and an Elder Drake beneath me. I stared out my window, hoping someone would rescue me. I was the poor damsel in distress, waiting for my knight in shining armor to come and rescue me, riding up on their glorious, armored Chocobo with sword in hand. They would then slash through the monsters and make it up to my tower where….

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I hurried to sit down on the edge of the bed, waiting patiently for the knight to come.

The footsteps grew closer and louder. My heart was pounding in my chest. Would I really be freed? Would I really find my true love, my hero?

Closer and closer they came.

Closer….

The doorknob moved slowly to one side, the door opening just a tiny amount. I could hear them breathing hard outside; what a hard climb it must have been for them.

Suddenly, the door was pushed aside and there they stood, armor gleaming and all. I could see myself in the shining metal, nervous yet excited. My hair down at my shoulders, my face calm, and my hands folded neatly on my lap. Yet this knight was gorgeous, even without me ever seeing their face. The helm was beautiful, with a Coeurl standing at the top, its fangs and paws open to the public so as to show its power. It was closed, with the lower lip tightly in place and small eye slits that showed nothing but shadows. I could see nothing of their face or anything of their intentions. The plates of metal along their body were set perfectly into place and gleaming as the light through the window behind me played across its surface. It was perfect with no evidence of the fight that had certainly taken place down below. And there they stood, perfect. My knight in shining armor.

Slowly, very slowly, they started to walk toward me. After what seemed like days of waiting they finally were close enough to me to touch. They reached out their arms and pulled me up into a tight embrace. As I was pulled up I didn't resist and something inside of me was fueled. Some sort of love that I had never felt. Surely this must be Tidus, my love, lost and gone forever, underneath this armor.

"Yuna…" he said, his voice slightly off and low. "I've finally found you."

"Yes…" I whispered as I pulled him closer to me. "Yes…"

I pulled away from him and looked up at his face. Without asking, I reached up and unlaced the helm and slowly took it off. The face underneath was not him.

"Paine?!" I asked, surprised yet somehow…I knew all along…

"Yuna…" She said, looking straight into my eyes.

Her head moved closer to my own. I knew what she was going to do, she had rescued me after all, yet I wanted this to happen. Somewhere, deep down inside of me, I was excited and nervous, feeling like a fresh virgin that has never been kissed. It felt right….

I felt her lips touch mine and everything in the world was perfect and as it should be. Her lips, so soft, so pure, so wonderful…

I heard myself murmur her name. "Paine…" I moaned underneath her lips as her tongue glided across my lips, seeking entrance. Her hands glided across my back and pulled me closer. As our kiss grew more intense, more deep, I felt such an intense feeling of wonder and pleasure. How could this feel so good?

When, finally, we had to stop for air, I looked straight into her beautiful eyes and slowly drew out her name, liking how it sounded upon my lips. Everything was right.

Then, I was shaken awake. I found myself laying on my bed in the cabin, Paine and Rikku looking down at me. It was dark outside the windows and I could hear the dull roar of the ship's engines as it propelled through the air.

"You okay, Yunie?" Rikku asked to my right. "We heard you moaning in your sleep."

"Yeah, and it seemed like you were calling out to me?" Paine added in. "Sounded like you were having another one of your bad dreams. You need some water?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"I'm okay, I'm sorry, I was just having…uh…one of my dreams again," I lied. "Sorry for waking you guys up." I turned on my side and closed my eyes.

I could hear them getting back into their bed and under their covers. Slowly, I opened my eyes and I could see her, trying to get back to sleep in the darkened cabin. Her breathing was magical as I watched her chest slowly fall up and down, her light shirt the only thing between me and her-

I closed my eyes tightly and shunned myself inside my head for what I was thinking. What the hell had my dream been about anyway?! Paine is my friend and I have no true emotions like that for her. I love Tidus, who I might never see again, and I have never even thought of kissing a girl ever. Yet…how come I feel like I must watch her every second and see her chest rise and fall with her breath? I want to open my eyes again and watch that beautiful face of hers sleep and dream as I lay awake in pure ecstasy…

I feel back asleep thinking of her face, with those red eyes and that silver hair…


	2. Confusion

**Chapter 2- Confusion**

I awoke to the familiar sounds of the engine, the lights, and the low whooshing sound of the wind outside the cabin windows. I didn't really feel like waking up today so the struggle to keep my eyes closed was easy enough. I just listened to the sounds of life passing through me, just content where I was. I sighed and turned over on my left side.

"Waking up, Yuna?"

I opened my eyes quickly at the sound of her voice and found Paine, sitting up in her bed, reading a small book. She was still in her pajamas, a light, white shirt and some black pants that hung around her waist. I remember that shirt from last night…watching her chest…watching her breathe….

I felt my face go red and I hid underneath the covers.

"You okay?"

"I-I, uh, yeah, I'm okay," I heard myself say even though my voice cracked and sounded horrible.

"Okay," she replied, "Buddy is still looking for any more data on that special sphere we may have spotted the other day. Rikku has gone to the Bridge to help him out and get some more needed social skills." She paused and I could almost see her smile. "Although getting skills from that bunch is hardly helpful to her already annoying demeanor."

We both laughed.

I poked my head out from underneath the covers and looked at her. She was looking up at the ceiling, smiling to herself. She seemed awfully happy this morning, and the fact that she wasn't out and about yet surprised me.

"Um…" I started, sitting up in bed, "so why are you still in bed?"

Paine brought her book back up to her face and continued to read. I almost thought that she wouldn't answer my question, my spirits heading in the downward direction, when she replied, "Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Y'know, in case you got really upset by your nightmare last night."

My nightmare…? Oh, my…"nightmare". "Oh, yeah, that was considerate of you, Paine, thanks, but I'm okay. Really, I'll be fine."

She looked at my through the corner of her eye. "You sure? You don't sound so sure."

After a pause, a silence, I nodded my head. I kept my head bowed for a long time and when I finally looked up at her she was engrossed into her book. I wasn't quite sure what to do now. I had an odd desire to stay here, with Paine, and just feel her presence wash over me.

What am I thinking?!

I reached over to my bedside table and pulled out my journal. Unlike most things today, ruled by machina (oh, excuse me, machines), I have decided to keep my old journal from the days of my summoning career and continue to write in it. Maybe it's just the feel of paper against the pen and my hand as I write in it that send the shivers up my spine that makes me so attached to it. Or, maybe, it's the memories associated with this small book, still full of blank sheets. I sighed, opening up to a new, blank page, and started to write.

_Last night, I had a dream. My friends say it was a nightmare but…I know it wasn't. It wasn't a nightmare, nor was it a dream, for it was…it was something different. For there, in my dream, I kissed her. I kissed Paine and I enjoyed it. It may seem surprising, that I'm not all worried about my silly, little dream, but, for some reason, I really, really enjoyed kissing her. In my dream of course, I haven't kissed her in real life. But would I enjoy that too?_

_Oh, dear me, I don't know what's wrong with me. Never, in my life, have I ever considered kissing a girl, and now I dream about it? Why would I ever want to kiss someone other than…him…Tidus? He's who I want, he's the person I want to kiss and love. Not Paine, not her._

_But would kissing her be that bad? Maybe her lips are as soft as I imagined them. Maybe the feeling I get when our lips finally meet is the same pure pleasure as I felt in the dream. Maybe I would enjoy it._

_But why am I thinking this? I am so confused as to why I am thinking these things. But they aren't just idle thoughts that seemed to cross my way because of some stupid incident. They are full-fledged thoughts that have enveloped my mind ever since I had that dream. I have these real, butterfly- inducing thoughts about her that make me watch her more closely than I ever have before. I like to watch her chest move as she breathes, watch her lips move as she speaks, like to watch her eyes as they flicker across the book that she currently reads. I have such a desire to be with her. Yet I am here with her, alone with her in the cabin, and I still want more. I must be closer, must feel her everywhere I am…_

_I never even thought these things when I was with Tidus. What is going on with me? Who am I turning into? What-_

"Gullwings! Report to the bridge immediately!"

I saw Paine put down her book and jump out of bed. "I guess they found something," Paine remarked as I put down my journal and hopped out of bed.

We made our way to the bridge, taking the lift at the edge of the hall. In those close quarters my mind was racing even more than it ever had. Look at her hands, looking so small yet strong. Then look at her hair, that silvery color full of fine and soft strands that play around her face in such a beautiful manner. Oh and just look at her lips…

I was enraptured with my thoughts all the way to the bridge that I never even noticed that Paine was looking at me funny. As the door to the lift opened up, we walked along the hall toward the bridge, where Brother, Buddy, Rikku, and Shinra were waiting eagerly for us.

"What's up?" Paine asked in her usual way, harsh and uninterested.

Brother's face was as white as a sheet. "We've got trouble."


	3. Sin

**Chapter 3- Sin**

"What is it?" I asked, jumping down the platform to land right next to Rikku. She too looked pale. "What's the matter with you guys?"

"Yeah," Paine added through a yawn, "what's so important that I couldn't even get dressed for?"

The four looked at each other, daring each other to tell us what exactly was happening. My heart started to pound in my chest.

"You guys…" I added in nervously, filling the silence that had wrapped itself around us. "What is it?"

Rikku gulped, stepping forward a little bit so that she and I were face to face and said one word that changed everything: "Sin."

I felt my legs give out from underneath me, my heart stop in a terrible and painful fashion, and my head just lull back as if it were trying to sleep. "Sin?" I squeaked out. "W-What?"

"Yuna…Sin has come back," Rikku continued.

"Yes, indeed it has, spotted off the coast of Besaid," Shinra explained. "We have just gotten a call from your friend, Wakka, telling us about the incident. It seems that-"

"Yuna!"

And then, blackness.

The next thing I knew was that something cold was pressed against my forehead, little droplets running down my face. My head screamed in pain as something throbbed beneath me. It was then that I suddenly realized that I was lying on the floor, my head spinning as I tried to open my eyes. I opened them a sliver, white light shining into my eyes and creating even more grief inside my temples. Everything just seemed to hurt but I had this strong desire to figure out what had happened.

At first I didn't recognize the people hovering over me. Three men, or what looked like three men—for one had a weird mask covering his face—and two women. One of them, with the silver-like hair, looked attractive-

"P-Paine?"

"You okay?!"

I tried to get my head and mind about me, trying to piece together the things that were flooding through my senses. It was too much for me. I feel back into darkness.

Yet, this time, the darkness was a lot more peaceful. I could hear voices around me calling my name, pleading at me to wake up. I heard someone's sweet voice enter my head and then felt soft arms pick me up. I tried to open my eyes again but all I could see was this blinding white light that hurt my head. I groaned and let myself go. I just let these arms carry me away. I'd wake up, sooner or later, but as things were going now, I could stay here forever.

"Brother, oh, and you too Buddy, you guys keep an eye on Sin and keep me updated. Rikku, come with me and get me some water in the cabin. Shinra…you just hang out."

I felt myself move through my darkness. Each pounding of my brain must be each footstep my carrier took. _Pound, pound, pound_ it kept going until, finally, it all stopped. The pounding in my head subsided and I could hear voices again.

"Paine, what happened to her? Is Yunie going to be okay?!"

"She'll be fine. I think…I think she just got a little scared, that's all."

I heard a button being pressed and suddenly I felt myself being propelled upwards. I couldn't see yet I had the worst sensation ever, this unpleasant moving feeling that made my stomach lurch and my throat moisten. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Then, everything stopped. Nothing.

I started to dream. I dreamt of a time where Sin had come back, where the fiends were everywhere yet nowhere at once. I was in this cavern where there was no one but myself, against all these fiends that had one goal in mind: to tear me to bits and make a soup out of my blood and bones. I tried to get away but there was someone in my way. He put his rough hands against my shoulders, looked into my eyes with his horrible black ones, and laughed. He laughed a laugh that hurt my heart and made me scream. I kept screaming and screaming until I shot up and found myself in the cabin, Paine and Rikku at my sides.

"Yunie! Yunie! Are you alright?! Speak to me!"

"Rikku, shove it! Give her some space!"

I looked around me, breathing hard and trying to understand everything. My head hurt from the lights, the voices, and the taste of my sweat running down my face. Everything just seemed to hurt me. And then I remembered my dream. Yet I knew it wasn't a dream.

I laid back down, my head hitting the pillow with a thump and all I could do was cry. I cried so hard my head was crushed with pain. I cried so much that my eyes were dry before I could even sob. I cried so hard because…because it had come back. Sin had come back and I knew it was real. I knew that it was back. All that we had fought for was gone, thrown away into the wind, never to be seen again. All that he had worked for…died for…disappeared for…. all of it was useless. And as I cried I felt Rikku hold me, soothing away my fears and doubts. Yet, the whole time, the only thing I saw was Paine's face, worried and sad, like it always was, yet, now, it was different. There was something more and that something, whatever it was, calmed my heart more than anything else. Rikku could have cleaned the dirt off of a shoopuf for all I cared; all I needed was that look from Paine and everything would dissolve away.

Everything…everything….

* * *

Later that day I stumbled back onto the bridge and in a second Brother was all over me. I was bombarded with questions as to how I was, how I was doing, if I was feeling up to being on the bridge, even if I should be walking around after my spell. I tried to answer all of his questions kindly but, with Rikku in tow to make sure I didn't collapse again, I was more concerned about what I had heard before. Sin.

"Is it true?" I asked them, looking around. "Has it really…come back?!"

Brother and Buddy gave each other a look. Buddy was the first to speak up. "I believe so, Yuna."

"I'm so sorry!" Brother wailed, waking tears as we sobbed. "I am so sorry Yuna! I should have fought it off and saved you from the pain you must surely be in! Let us fight it together! We shall be victorious!"

I looked at him sorrowfully. "I wish we could, Brother, but…."

I glared out at the bridge's window, seeing the wind fly by and the clouds skim past us as if on wings. Everything was so peaceful up here, no worries, nothing that one should worry about it. Peace….

"Are we on our way to Besaid?" I asked, looking at Buddy.

"I already set the course in about two hours ago, just before you collapsed on us. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, really, I'll be alright." I tried to reassure everyone with my words but they all frowned at me. "Look," I said to them, turning around to make sure everyone got a nice, good glare from me, "there are a lot of people who are worried down there that need me. It's Sin…I'm the High Summoner. I want to see if this is really Sin or if it's just some…machina or something else. I need to know. And if Sin has returned…." I let my words trail off as everyone thought of the consequences. What if Sin had come back? What if the Eternal Calm was to end once more? What if he had disappeared for nothing?

I looked at Rikku, saw her young face looking up worriedly at me. I knew that she would help me, no matter what. Then I turned to my other side, getting a good look at Paine. Her face still held that look of sadness and worry that it did before, and it was still comforting, but I saw one more thing in her eyes, as red as they may be. I knew then that she would be the biggest help for me in the days to come. I knew that she would help me through it all. Although I didn't understand her, and I didn't know all about her past, I knew that she would be there for me, much like he was there for me.

She smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Tell me when we get there, okay, Buddy?" I asked, but never did I leave Paine's gaze.

"Will do."

With one last look at her, I turned my back and headed off toward the cabin. I needed a drink.


	4. Thoughts of Love and Life

**Chapter 4- Thoughts of Love and Life**  
  
I laid back down on my bed, still dressed in my pajamas and my bed unmade, cup of water in hand. I splashed the water all over my face, chilling me, waking me up from this horrible nightmare I knew I was in. Sin...could it really be back? But...I thought that I had destroyed it, for good. The Eternal Calm was supposed to be just that, eternal. There must be a mistake, it could not happen. Someone must have mistaken a big rock for Sin...right? It couldn't come back...it just couldn't!  
  
I turned in my bed, bringing the covers close up to my neck and sighing. I felt like I could cry again; cry because everything was slipping through my fingers like water from a faucet. How could I save Spira again? But was it really my job to save it once more? Yes...of course it was my job. I'm the High Summoner, even if I am part of the Gullwings and hunt these stupid spheres for a living. People depend on me to create order out of chaos and that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to give order to Spira once more and send away the fiends...and Sin...for good!  
  
Yet, wasn't that what I was supposed to do two years ago?  
  
I punched the bed with all my might, my hand balled up into a tight fist, trying to expel some of the anger that was wild inside of me. I wanted to cry yet I knew I had to be strong. I want to scream but I knew that I must be calm. I want to...I need to...  
  
It was then that I thought of her. She had helped me. She had helped me calm myself through my tears, telling me, somehow, that things would be okay, that things would all fall into place the right way. Then, on the Bridge, she had calmed me once again, showing me a side of her that I had never seen before.  
  
Wait a minute! I'm thinking this again! I'm thinking of...Paine...in this more than friendly way. I keep thinking about it and looking at her, and somehow I always find what I'm looking for...  
  
I don't understand! I turned around on my bed, anger rising in me to an uncontrollable level, and laid flat on my stomach. What was going on with me! I have felt all these feelings before...all of them. The nervous butterflies fluttering around in my stomach as I see her enter a room, or standing next to me, are coming back stronger than ever before. Or the sweaty palms I get when I even brush her figure. Or maybe the lose of words when I try to speak to her. How long has this been going on for? Certainly these feelings were here with me before I had that dream with her? All these emotions are so strong and so real that it's hard to discern my other thoughts from my emotions. I'm going crazy! Going crazy in lo-  
  
Love?! Hardly. Okay, I guess, I'll admit that...well...I do _seem _to _like_ Paine in _that_ way. I mean, how else can I explain these feelings I get, the thoughts I think, the dreams I dream? Even before that dream I have been looking at her differently. Perhaps it even started when I first joined the Gullwings...seeing her there with her arms crossed and her feet tapping as if she was impatient. She even looked beautiful then, eager for a next assignment and hardly caring about who this was that had just come on board. I probably liked her then! Oh my, what is coming over me? Liking a girl? I don't understand...I just don't....  
  
Maybe I should stop trying to understand. Maybe I should just...let it be. Thinking about all of this...just, everything, will make me feel worse and maybe I should just...let it go. Whatever will happen will and if I do like Paine than I do...why try to change it? Obviously I like how things are going, I like liking her. I mean, why shouldn't I? She's an attractive young women that holds so many secrets within her frame. What else would I want in someone, male or female, that I would want? She's just...perfect.  
  
So, if I have decided that I like her, why can't I...think about her? I mean...I had that dream last night and that sure was nice. Can't I...think about kissing her?  
  
Yeah, yeah I'll do that.  
  
I closed my eyes and started to think...to dream.  
  
I was back in that tower, with Paine, kissing her. I could feel her soft lips against mine, her tongue traveling inside of my mouth, feeling every corner. Your tongues danced slowly to an unknown beat, caressing each other, feeling, teaching....It was so wonderful...so magical...never did I want it to stop...never....  
  
My eyes popped open. This is so strange yet so amazing that I just can't feel embarrassed to be thinking this. Why should I be discomfited by something that feels so wonderful to me. And, just think, I'm only imaging it. I wonder what it would be like to really kiss her.  
  
Oh, stop it! She'd never want to kiss me, never ever. I just know. And yet...remember the way she looked at me when I was crying, or on the bridge. There was something there...something real and strong. Maybe she was thinking all the things that I was right now....Maybe my fantasies aren't so far- fetched after all.  
  
Okay, back to my castle in the sky.  
  
Her hands slowly moved up from my back to touch my shoulders. They were bare as my simple, white dress started a little below where her hand was now resting. Slowly she started to touch me, her hands growing more daring as our kiss continued, our tongues continuing to play with each other. Slowly she started to touch my chest, circling around where I knew she wanted to go. Oh, please, I prayed, wanting her to touch me more. I felt so flushed and breathless that I had to stop our kiss, moaning as I did so.  
  
"Paine..." I started, my voice a low whisper, "Paine...I..."  
  
She smiled; her lips curving upwards and giving me such an emotion that made me squirm inside. Such a look...that look...it said so much...It looked like she really cared...like she really loved me....Emotions and thoughts started to flood through me and I pulled her closer, kissing her hard. I felt this horrible yet beautiful urgency to be with her, to feel her...everywhere....  
  
I heard footsteps. I opened my eyes quickly and turned my head to my right to see who was approaching the steps. I was caught in the act! Of thinking about her...but how would they know what I was thinking? It is still okay, Yuna, it's still okay...no one will ever have to know what you were thinking. Everything's okay...  
  
It's...it's...oh sweet Spira, it's Paine!  
  
There she was, walking up the steps in her usual attire, somehow changing over the past hour that I've been here, sitting and laying, deep in thought. Slowly, without a care in the world, she climbed the steps up to where we slept, up into the upper portion of the cabin. She continued to walk until she sat down on her bed, next to mine, and looked at me. I tried to hide my face, knowing that it was all flushed from my little...daydream, but I was too late.  
  
"Yuna, are you sure you're okay?" Paine asked, concern flooding her voice. "You look sort of flushed."  
  
I blushed even harder. Could she possibly know that I was thinking about her in that way?! No, no, there is no way she could. Just...calm down!  
  
"Oh, um," I tried to say but I found it hard to speak as my breathing was so hard, "I'm fine. I was just...um...thinking about...y'know...life...that sort of stuff. I'm fine, really."  
  
She looked at me funny as if she was trying to look through me and read my mind. I started to sweat under her gaze. Those eyes, as beautiful as I knew they were, looked frightening and scary, and all because I thought she might know my secret, that I did, actually, like her.  
  
"Okay, then," she said after a pause, "I just came up to make sure you're alright. I was worried about you."  
  
She was worried about me?! My heart did circles when I heard this. She did care about me! Well, at least enough to worry about me. I'm getting ahead of myself; I need to calm down. Just because she cares about me doesn't mean that she likes me in that way. Gotta calm down here.  
  
"We'll be reaching Besaid shortly, within the next hour actually." Paine turned to go, getting up from her still unmade bed, but she stopped after only having gone a few feet. "If you need any help, with anything, or you just want someone to talk to, I'm always around. I, of all people, know all too well what a real _help_ Rikku can be sometimes. Just thought I'd tell you, okay?" With that, she left and pounded down the stairs, two steps at a time.  
  
My heart, oh my beating heart! Calm thyself down or I may die from these feelings I now have! Just an hour ago I wasn't sure how I felt about her but now I know. I know that I really do like Paine, that I am falling madly....Oh, let's just use it; I'm falling madly in love with her.  
  
Oh be still my beating heart! 


	5. Trapped

**Note:** Thanks to all the people reviewing out there for me. You've really helped me a lot to keep going on this story. I'll keep writing this pages as long as I've got someone to read them. Thanks for all the encouragement.

* * *

**Chapter 5- Trapped**  
  
We had landed in Besaid within the hour and I had rushed out the airship door to look at what this "Sin" was.  
  
"Sin" was a cave, on the corner of the path in Besaid. Wakka had explained to us that as he contacted Buddy and Brother on the ship, the transmission was very jumbled and the way he was explaining things had not come out the way he had intended.  
  
"I tried to explain to Brudda here," Wakka said, his hair all at ends, his face flushed with fury. "I said that people were worried that it was Sin, but it wasn't. They just saw a lot of fiends in this here cavern, that's all. People started ta panic and all hell broke lose. I was trying to tell him over there that there was no need to panic." He looked carefully at me with a sorrowful look about his eyes. "I'm sorry I got ya all in a fright, I didn't want ta."  
  
I smiled, relief flooding through me. "It's okay Wakka, just a miscommunication." I looked around me and saw the whole village pock their heads out of their tents. "Is everyone alright now? Do they know that it's not Sin?"  
  
"They will know shortly. I'll break it all to them, okay?" Wakka asked, clearing his throat and patting me on the back.  
  
"Okay," I said, "but, in the meantime..." I glanced around at the girls, "we might as well check out this 'cave', just to make sure its safe of course."  
  
Paine and Rikku both nodded in agreed, although Rikku was much more enthusiastic about it than either Paine or I. So, we started to walk to the cave, making through the paths outside of the village. I was so relieved that there was no Sin at all, that all my fears were nothing but horrible thoughts and images. Sin...the eternal calm will stay forever and there is nothing that anything can do about it! Nothing! It will stay forever!  
  
I walked along, my heart humming a happy tune inside, looking at Paine more often and obviously than ever before. She looked so stunning with the sunlight shinning off her hair, creating a sea of color that I have never seen before. My eyes were transfixed upon her, not looking at the road before me until, suddenly, I tripped over a stone. I almost fell on my face, looking like an idiot, was it not for Paine, who caught my arm at the last minute, holding me up from the dirt.  
  
"Thanks..." I murmured to her, getting myself back up. How come it was always she who saved me from everything? Although falling in the dirt wasn't life- threatening, and neither was crying in my bed, but just the thought that she was always there, always watching over me.  
  
I shunned myself quietly, continuing to walk with my head bowed, trying not to look at Paine as much anymore. I had to stop thinking like this; thinking that Paine would do all of these things for me just because she really cared for me. It was all just my mind playing these tricks on me, thinking things were there that really aren't. I had to come back to reality for fantasies aren't real, just wishes...  
  
I was stuck in my thoughts the whole way to the cave that I never really noticed that the fiends...well, they just weren't there. When I actually came face-to-face with the door, the entrance, I suddenly realized this. The fiends...all gone?! Wakka had said that there were a lot of fiends in this cavern (and not Sin!) but could all of the fiends from Besaid actually be in there? That couldn't possibly be true, could it? I mean, if it were true, then all of the fiends must have communicated somehow and I never thought that they even knew how to communicate within their own heads! Or, maybe, someone is telling them to move into this cavern. Some force...that force, from my dream....  
  
My head shot up and I now looked up at this door in a whole new light. Was this...that cavern that I saw in my dream? No, no...it could never be that stupid cavern, holding that damn guy that made me hurt so badly.... Never....  
  
"Yunie...? Yunie?!" Rikku screamed at me, trying to pry my attention away from the door in front of me.  
  
I turned to look at her. "What is it?"  
  
"You..." Rikku said, "you just looked kinda pained or something. Is there something wrong?"  
  
"Oh, no, nothing is wrong. It was just..." how could I explain it to them? "I just feel like I've been here before, that's all. No big deal."  
  
They both looked at me, puzzled expressions on their faces. I tried to smile it away, reassure them that really, that was all it was, but neither of them were convinced.  
  
"Come on, girls, let's go see what's inside this cave!" I cheered at them, giving them the best face I possibly could. If this didn't persuade them to forget it then nothing would.  
  
Rikku and Paine looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded their heads.  
  
We went into the dark, deep cave, the door locking behind us.

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There is something in here, something dark, something foul that clutched my heart with iron claws. Something in here was wrong...evil...cruel. It had no shape, no form, no real body to hold and kill. It was just this feeling that spread throughout my entire body once I stepped into the cave. A chill that passed from my head to my toes, freezing me in place, covering me with this horrifying blanket that brought back fears of days long gone by, came over me. Horrors from my childhood flashed before my eyes, the torments of my teenage years, the grueling trials of my Summoner years, and the pain of him disappearing on me. Everything wrong and painful in my life rushed over me like an airship wreck, tearing me apart into tiny pieces of blood and bone....  
  
When I could finally open my eyes through all the grief that I was experiencing I saw something so terrible I want to cry. The sight itself wasn't so astonishing as it was nothing. What I saw before me was this blackness, this deep pit where no light survived. I was surrounded by this big, black hole where there was no light to guide me through this cave of death and despair. I couldn't see Paine, I couldn't see Rikku, I couldn't even see myself! I tried to see my fingers, pressing them up hard against my eyes, but all I saw was this pitch blackness that harmed my eyes.  
  
"Yuna!" I heard Paine scream. "Yuna, where are you?!"  
  
"Paine, are you there?!" Rikku yelled back.  
  
"Rikku, where are you?! Where's Yuna?"  
  
They were looking for me but I just couldn't speak. This darkness seized my throat, making it impossible for me to say anything. When I opened my mouth, all I could here was a squeak.  
  
"Yuna?!"  
  
"P-Paine?!"  
  
"Let's get out of here, okay? This place is creeping me out," Rikku tried to say but something swallowed up her words.  
  
Suddenly, light was blasted into the cave. My eyes were blinded and all I could see now was this white light, coming from what I assumed was the door. Outside I knew there would be grass, animals, and people, things that are alive and well. I wanted to be there. I tried to readjust myself but I was too late. Suddenly, I saw Rikku being flung back through the door, into the sunlight. I heard her scream and I heard the sound of her body hit the ground outside. And just like that the light went away, bringing me back into eternal darkness.  
  
"Paine?" I asked tentatively. "Are you still here?"  
  
"Yuna, I'm here. Where are you?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Keep talking; I'll move to the sound of your voice."  
  
"Okay...um...This place is really dark, "I started to say, feeling pretty stupid that I was essentially talking to myself. "I can't see anyone and I know that there's something in here, Paine, something dark and evil. I can feel it-"  
  
I shrieked. Something had just hit my shoulder, and hard!  
  
"Yuna? It's just me."  
  
"Oh, Paine," I let out some air, trapped within my lungs ever since she had caught me off guard. "I'm so glad it's you-"  
  
Something moved, and it wasn't Paine.  
  
"Yuna..." she whispered, "can you hear that?"  
  
"Yes...I can," I brought out my gun, unsure of how to dispose of a fiend in the dark when I was in danger of hitting Paine.  
  
I could hear her pull out her sword, getting it ready by her side. "I think it's ahead of us."  
  
"Yeah. I'd shot at it but I'm too afraid to hit you."  
  
"Shooting might bring something else out. Let me whack it good! Um..." I felt her move around behind me, grasping my shoulder and back to just see where exactly I was. "Okay, just, hold onto me from behind. That way I won't have to worry about hurting you. Is that okay?"  
  
"Sure, will do." Of course it was okay with me! Feeling you against my chest, even if it is your back, would be so wonderful. The closest I've ever gotten to you, although I never thought that it would be in a cave with a fiend sniffing around for our hides.  
  
I felt around her shoulders and back, trying to find the spot where I would press up against her, found it, and pushed myself flat against her. It felt so good that I almost moaned in pleasure. I kept my lips sealed though. Oh dear...even with clothes on she feels so wonderful, like-  
  
It moved again. My heart started to beat faster and faster, threatening to pop out of my chest at any moment. The fiend...it was still here.  
  
All of a sudden I was pulled away from Paine, snatched away from her back, the end of my dress ripping as the fiend tore its teeth into the material. I feel to the ground, my leg tearing on something, and soon I could feel hot blood trickling down my thigh. I grunted in pain but I was mostly concerned about the fiend, now breathing down my neck from my chest. Its weight was pressing down on me, making it harder for me to breathe, harder for me to keep alive.  
  
"Get off!" Paine yelled as I felt more blood drop onto my cheek. The fiend whimpered, growling one last time, then flopped onto my chest with its last breath.  
  
A mouthful of air came rushing out of me as my lungs collapsed from the weight of the fiend. I grunted in pain but soon it was off of me.  
  
"Yuna? Yuna! Are you alright?!" Paine asked, searching around for me with her hands, finding my head.  
  
"I'm alright. I think I've got a cut on my leg though. Nothing too big."  
  
"Oh. Which leg?!"  
  
"Uh..." I looked up, forgetting that I couldn't see anything. "My...right one, I think...."  
  
Slowly her hands padded down my body, not hitting the areas I wish you would, until she found my wound.  
  
"It doesn't seem too bad, "I heard her remark through a clouded mind, "but you'll need a potion or two. I don't have any with me so you'll have to tough it out." She paused so I let my head down, closing my eyes. What was the point of eyes right now anyway? "Are you sure you'll be okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine."  
  
A sigh was emitted from Paine, one of utter hopelessness. "I hope Rikku finds Wakka soon so that they can get us out of here fast. There's no way we'll get out of here on our own. The door could be anywhere."  
  
"Yeah...but..." I thought for a minute, trying hard to put my feelings into a logical thought. I felt so many things at once that it was difficult to know what I actually wanted. "Could you...do you think that, ah, you could come up here, just so that I know where you are?"  
  
I swear that I saw her smile. "Yeah..." her voice sweet and tender like blooming flowers, giving me such a pleasant sensation throughout my whole being. And then she was up there, with me, laying down right beside me. "Where are you?"  
  
She gripped me hand tight, making sure that I was nearby.  
  
"Ah...may I ask you something?" Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke but I barely noticed it; I was still stuck on the wonderful feeling her hand was giving mine as they rested there, embracing each other.  
  
"Mmhmm, "I mumbled.  
  
"Would you mind too much if I just...ah...kept my hand here, uh, with yours. I mean, just so that I can make sure you're okay and here. I don't want to lose you again."  
  
"No..." I breathed out, trying to keep my head from spinning too much, "its f- fine with me..."  
  
And so we lay here, surrounded by darkness, hand-in-hand, waiting for someone to rescue us.


	6. I Swear It’s The Beginning

**Note: **Sorry about the delay; I had graduation crap to deal with and the end of school. But thanks for all of your encouragement and still with me! It'll only get better. Promise

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**Chapter 6- I Swear It's The Beginning**  
  
We laid there for a while, in complete silence, lost in our own thoughts. She had tried to fix up my leg a little bit, wrapping it in some of my clothing, but it still hurt. Neither of us had potions on us so I just had to suffer through it. It wasn't that bad but it still came in and out, making my mind shift from one thought to the pain in my leg. My thoughts were jumbled then, thinking in and out of the pain. Although I didn't know what Paine was thinking I sure knew what I was thinking; my hand...in her hand?!  
  
What was going on? Had all the good karma forces in life suddenly come together for me and created this wonderful moment where I laid still in pure ecstasy? Or had I just gone mad and this was another one of those pleasant dreams where everything goes just the way you want it? It had to be a dream, surely it must be, for when in my wildest imagination had I ever thought that this would happen? I mean, I know Paine cares for me, we all work together, but to keep me close at hand...  
  
I'm getting ahead of myself, once again. She's just...oh...holding my hand because she needs to keep track of me. It's dark in here and who-knows what else is in here other than this light-drowning darkness? Anything could be in here and it was best to stick together and nearest the place where we last saw light, until someone came to rescue us. Simple as that. Nothing any more complicated than this...nothing....  
  
But couldn't I enjoy it anyway? I mean...even if she doesn't feel the same way as I do doesn't mean that I can't enjoy these feelings that are pulsing through me with ever beat of my heart. I might as well lay back and relax, letting life and love take over, soothing me, giving me light in this gloomy cave. I closed my eyes, giving myself over to the emotions spiraling through me...in me...  
  
Something cracked. "What was that?!" Paine whispered beside me, the sound of her sword scrapping on the floor was evident.  
  
"I-I don't know," I whispered back, my eyes wide open as if I could see anything.  
  
We waited there, weapons at the ready, trying to catch the foe before the foe caught us. How long we stayed poised, prepared to strike at the small sound, I never knew, but we waited until we were sure that whatever that noise was came from no fiend and that we were save.  
  
After a while, Paine began to talk. "Um...Yuna?" she asked in a whisper, "may I ask you a question?"  
  
"Yeah, okay."  
  
She paused for a minute before continuing. "What ever happened...to that guy you liked?"  
  
The question, as innocent and light as it may have been, hit me like a sack of stones. She asked me about Tidus...about _him_? Why would she want to know about him? I didn't really...um...like him that much anymore. I thought, at that time during my summoning career, that I loved him like nothing else but that was before I meet her, Paine. Now Paine is all I care about and Tidus is far away in my mind, this small little dot in a sea of sand. So why would it hurt me to tell her the truth? I sucked out my pride and sucked in my courage, and letting all the air out before I even thought of answering her.  
  
"He disappeared once Sin was destroyed," I said, trying to keep my voice level but it went up and down in pitch and tone.  
  
"Disappeared?" She asked, sounding interested.  
  
"Well, yeah, he disappeared. You see," I started but then I thought better of it. Why would she want to know my whole life's story?! "Oh, never mind, it's a long story. You wouldn't want to he-"  
  
"Oh, no, I want to hear it. I mean..." her head twitched in mine, sending a shiver up and down my back. "I would like to know and we've got a lot of time in hear since it seems like no one will get to us anytime soon." She paused for a moment and right before I was about to continue she spoke up again. "You don't have to if you don't want to," her voice was so innocent and so caring...it made me eyes water and my heart thud louder against my chest. "I don't want to force you into anything."  
  
A smile creased my lips as I could feel the warmth and love radiating off of her. So bright and strong that it lightened up my world in this dark, dank cave I now lay in. So wonderful...oh get a hold of yourself!  
  
"He...wasn't really real," I started to explain, "he was actually a dream that came to Spira from his dream-world of Zanarkand. Sin brought him here, making him tangible, real. Throughout his travels, he became my guardian and soon learned that...well...Sin was his father, who had been my father's guardian and traveled to Spira in much the same way as he had. So when Sin was destroyed, the fayth no longer had to keep up this dream of Zanarkand because Sin was finally, truly, really destroyed. So once Zanarkand disappeared so did everything within it...including him."  
  
There, it was finished, I had told her. Now I can forget about him and focus all of my energy on her.  
  
"Did you," she started but it seemed that her voice failed her halfway through. Was it something she didn't want to ask me yet wanted to know the truth anyway.  
  
"What, Paine?" I asked softly, slightly squeezing her hand tighter. Why I did it, I'm not sure, but I faintly recognized a squeeze back.  
  
"I was just wondering if you really loved him. I mean...aren't you still trying to get him back? Isn't that why you became a sphere hunter?"  
  
What she said was true, I knew it deep down inside of me, but how could I tell her the real truth? How could I possibly tell her that I had forgotten all about him just because I had fallen in love with someone else? I have fallen so hard that my nose aches from the plunge yet how can I relieve my shoulders of this burden and tell her? No, telling her would be way to risky. What if, when she found out, she left the Gullwings all together, fearing me and what I might do on her? What if she never spoke to me again and never gave me that wonderful smile? What if I never saw her again? My whole world would just crumble down into pieces right before my eyes, leaving my heart broken like I have never felt before. I wouldn't be able to stand it; my whole soul shattered and my heart crushed beyond repair.  
  
Yet...what if something good happened if I told her the truth? What if she sort of liked me back? What if she had been feeling the same way I had? What if she loved me too? Would I actually be able to kiss her then? Feel her smooth hands in my own more often? Feel her soft skin against my own and captured her tongue in my mouth? I might be able to do all of these things! All of them! Oh what a wonderful thing that would be to happen! But is this a risk I am willing to take? Kisses versus gone forever? So hard....  
  
I knew what I had to say. If I don't do it now I may never have the chance to again. I had to.  
  
I had been in my thoughts way too long for Paine moved my hand and asked me if I was still there.  
  
"I'm fine...but...ah...." The anticipation, the nervousness, the beating of my heart...it's all killing me! It hurts so much, to actually be telling her, but I must, I have to! Once I get it over with, once I tell her, the pain will stop and I'll be free. It feels like my heart could stop at any moment.... "About him...well, I mean, I used to think that I loved him but now..." oh Spira, here it comes... "I'm beginning to like...ah..." just a few more seconds and it'll be over with... "someone else...." There...is that enough for her?  
  
"Like who?"  
  
I guess not. "Well...um..." Can I do it? Just a few more words and this horrible throbbing pain will stop in my chest. I can do it...just a few more.... "I sort-of like...um...well..."  
  
Suddenly light filled the cave and in came a voice. "Yunie! Paine! Are you alive?!"  
  
Rikku! Damn her!  
  
"Rikku?" Paine shouted back, getting to her feet clumsily. "Is that you?"  
  
"Paine?" Footsteps were heard running forward. "Are you alright? Is Yunie here with you?"  
  
I sighed, stomping my fist hard on the ground. I was about to tell Paine how I felt about her! That damn girl, bursting in on the wrong time. She should have just given me a few more seconds and I would have been done with it. Just a few more...  
  
"Yunie?"  
  
"Ouch!" I yelled, anger rising steadily in me. I clutched my gun tight in my right hand, ready to pound her brain full of lead if she gave me just a chance.... "I'm right here Rikku!"  
  
"Oh, Yunie, I thought you were a goner!"  
  
"She's going to need a potion, do you have one."  
  
"Not on me. What's wrong with her?"  
  
Why were my eyes so bad? I could barely start to see shapes when Paine was already up and talking with Rikku. I could hear smaller voices outside, asking whether I was okay.  
  
"I'm fine!" I shouted at them, trying to keep my voice devoid of anger. It was so hard though...I was that :: :: close to telling Paine how I felt about her! Argh!  
  
"Here, go run and tell the others and I'll get Yuna," Paine said and all of a sudden I was picked up. "Do you think you can walk?" A whisper came drifting in, fighting off my anger and replacing it with cool warmth.  
  
I nodded my head, seeing Rikku bound joyfully out of the door to the cavern. Damn girl...she's so happy that she interrupted my speech...fuck her... Oh my! Yuna!  
  
Before I could chastise myself on such vulgar language Paine took my hand and placed it around her shoulders, giving me a steady weight to walk with. Slowly, we limped out of the cavern.  
  
On our way to the village, Wakka leading the way and Rikku behind us, Paine asked me again. "Who is it that you like? You were about to tell me when Rikku came in."  
  
This? Again?! Oh dear...what should I say? Do I still have the courage to tell her now? Rikku's behind us though! Wakka in front too! What to do...what to do...  
  
Oh just tell her you wimp! Let's get it over with and maybe you'll feel better. Or maybe I won't, who knows, but lets just say it!  
  
"Y-you." I squeaked out, my heart beating so fast that I thought it might burn out.  
  
"What?" She asked, turning her ear closer to my mouth.  
  
So fast...so hard...my heart won't stop....Oh my chest....  
  
"You!"


	7. The Dinner

**Note:** Sorry about the wait, this was a rather large update. It's not what I wanted it to be becuase of the rush I was in to get it up, so you should be on the lookout for version 1.1 of this chapter. Who knows when I'll get around to it though. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 7- The Dinner**  
  
I was given orders to lie in bed for a while, letting my leg heal. They had found a nice sized gash once it was put into the day light and I was just surprised by how little it actually hurt. I was probably thinking of other things in that cave...many other things...  
  
I looked around Lulu's and Wakka's tent, surveying the simple things around me. It was a nice little place but how would two grown people and a child fit in here? I suppose they'll figure it out but I'm worried that they won't know what to do when the baby comes. Something will be done of course, and if they ever need it the Celsius will always be available to them.  
  
I sighed and brought my head up to look at my leg. It looked fine to me, no mark at all to indicate that I had ever been cut. Why was I laying in here then? Why couldn't I be out there telling Wakka about the cave? Why am I stuck here?  
  
Sighing, I laid back down. Stupid, stupid, stupid... I was fine! Fine, I tell you, fine. Why won't anyone listen to me?  
  
Paine will listen to me though, she'll always be listening to me. In fact...  
  
Oh, just thinking about it makes me smile although I'm not quite sure why. She didn't really say anything after I confessed my feelings for her, she just...smiled.  
  
She smiled! She smiled at me, her lips forming this wonderful smirk that filled me to the brim with happiness. I could feel my legs give way even more, my weight falling heavily upon her as she tried to keep me walking. And all I remember after that is looking at her, her face looking cheerful like I have never seen it before. Such a sight to behold...something I will never trade for anything else. I will keep that memory in my mind until I leave for the Farplane. Never will it leave me....  
  
She helped me into Wakka's house, laying me down on the bed. My leg had hit a post of the bed but I didn't feel the pain, I just saw her eyes, looking at me with love in them.  
  
I smiled even harder as I thought about it. I was always worried about jumping the gun whenever she looked at me for I always wanted to think that she did really care for me. I always had to tell myself to calm down, to remember what I was thinking and how impossible it is and always will be. But this time, I swear, what I saw was real. I swear that this is the beginning of something wonderful and long. I can just feel it.  
  
Paine's and Wakka's voice came creeping through the flaps of the tent into my ears, hearing them talk about the cave in Besaid. I knew that there was something hidden in there, something wrong, something evil, but I just didn't care right now. How could I are when I was thinking about Paine and how...how....  
  
She had slathered some potion onto my leg, healing it quickly. She turned to leave, laying the potion on the table next to me, when she said to me, "I'll be right back, okay?"  
  
"O-okay," I muttered.  
  
And then she left, to talk with the village people, mostly Wakka, about the cave. She had to do my job for me; tell everyone that it wasn't Sin, that Sin was gone forever, and that the cave should be off-limits. Then tell them how things would be okay but keep a look out and contact us whenever things got a little out-of-hand or dangerous. I mean, danger is in our job description, right?  
  
"Yuna?"  
  
Paine.... "Yes?"  
  
The flap opened and in she came, running her fingers through her hair in exasperation. "Damn people. They'll never listen to me. I keep trying and trying to tell them that Sin will never come back but...they want you Yuna."  
  
"Oh," I said, pondering this.  
  
"They can wait for tomorrow though."  
  
I looked up at her; I mean really look up at her. She stood there with the same black outfit I always saw her wear. She never varied her style, but, then again, neither did I, and I liked that. It was just another one of those things about her that I liked so much. The little silver flashes that sparkled at you when the light shone on them just right. Or the long black gloves she wore everyday, keeping her hands sparkly white and clean I supposed. I could see the small piece of jewelry that hung from her neck, swaying with each step she took. I never actually looked at it, hardly ever noticing it, but now I did. What exactly was it? Where had it come from? Did it have any sentimental value?  
  
Paine sat down on the bed next to me. I moved over to let her have some more space and titled my head in question to her.  
  
"Um...Yuna?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I was wondering if...um..." she looked away, staring intently at her feet. I tried to see what she was looking at so closely but I didn't get very far. "Um..." Paine seemed to sigh in exasperation and after this she just blurted it out in this big rush. "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"  
  
"W-what?"  
  
She seemed annoyed that I had asked her that but I think she got the wrong message. "Would you like-"she started much more slowly this time but I cut her off, bringing my hands up in front of her.  
  
"No, stop," I said, "I got that part. I was just wondering...why?"  
  
Paine beamed down at me, this happiness and joy coming over her face. She licked her lips and stood up, smiling even harder every minute that passed. "You'll see," and with that, she walked out of the tent, the flap swishing back and forth after her.  
  
The rest of the day just went by in a blur. Paine was no where to be found once I was allowed out of bed. Wakka and Lulu fussed all over me, making sure that my leg had healed properly, making sure I could stand, giving me food and drink to eat. After about an hour of worrying and hassling I grew tired of it and told them politely that I was fine, for the tenth time, and that I was going to go.  
  
Rikku was out playing ball with a dog once I finally got out of their grasp, finding the sun close to the horizon. She ran up to me and asked me how my leg was doing. Faintly I remember telling her that I was okay and that there was nothing to worry about. I just really wasn't with it then. My mind was on one thing: Paine.  
  
I walked around the village, talking to people that came in front of me. Every time I had to talk with someone they initiated the conversation first, asking me if I was okay and whether or not Sin had actually come back. The whole village seemed to ask me the same questions, their thick skulls having never listened to a word Paine said, a new person coming out each time I was done with one. An endless flow of people that would never have stopped if it weren't for the boy that came running up to me, a piece of paper rolled tightly into his hand. He stopped just short of me, breathing hard and fast, his hands on his knees with his head bent to recapture some of his lost breath.  
  
I turned to him, thankful to get away from these pestering villagers, and kneeled down so as to look him in the eye.  
  
"My...lady...Summoner..." the boy said through huffs and puffs, "I...have...a message...for you...." He held out his hand, never lifting up his face, to give me the piece of paper in his hand.  
  
I took it, curious to know what it was, a quickly unfolded the paper.  
  
_Yuna, _

_Meet me by the cave.  
  
-Paine_  
  
Forgetting all of the villagers I took off for the cave, entering into a run soon after I went beyond the village limits. I kept running and running until, all of a sudden, I was a the cave entrance, the large, broken down "steps" in front of me with the small door entrance to my right. My lungs were burning from running so hard, so fast, and for so long. My legs were clenched up in pain as I stopped, trying to steady my breathing, struggling to keep myself upright. Gravity itself seemed to be working against me now, pulling my down to the earth, making the pain much worse.  
  
"You came," Paine said in front of me in a matter-of-fact voice.  
  
"Of...course I came!" I huffed out, straightening my back and sucking up my pain. I started to control my breathing and looked her in the eyes.  
  
"Then follow me," she said as she turned around, walking over to the left, going out of sight beyond some brush.  
  
I jumped down the large steps, not even glancing at the cave that I had been trapped in for so long with her, and ran forward in the direction I last saw her go. She had stopped in front of an edge, right where the water started below, and she stood there, waiting for me, her back to me. She didn't look that extraordinary today, her clothing the same, and her silver hair still set in a perfect pose. But what she was standing next to made my heart leap into my throat, making it tighten into painful yet wonderful knots of joy.  
  
It was like...how can I describe it? A blanket, white and pure, was laid down on the ground, things laid upon it. Food was spread upon the it, ranging from delicious appetizers to mouth-watering deserts, not to mention some of my favorite foods. For starters there seemed to be a shrimp cocktail, a lovely leech soup, some roasted chicken, a delightful green salad, and some white bread to top it off. Even just looking at one side of this cover I was amazed at how much work she's done, and all for me, all for _our_ dinner, but I wasn't done looking.  
  
Although there was enough food just from the starters to last me a week, there was still the main course. There was ham, chicken, steak (actually château briand, too good for words), some fried chocobo (which was and still is risky to eat but very appealing), fish, salmon, lobster, pâté, and caviar. All of these dishes were sitting in pots, steaming (or not), and placed upon these little place holders so as not to scorch the white cover. My mouth started to water uncontrollably. How could she have done all of this? All of this food, made wonderfully and delicately, sitting her for us to eat? She must have done a lot of work to get all of this for me.  
  
Then...oh my...deserts. Cookies with chocolate, nuts, and other little delicate inside sitting on one plate. Then there were pies of every type, puddings, ice cream (inside a little bag to keep it cold), and a wide assortment of cakes, ranging from vanilla to chocolate and everywhere in between.  
  
For drinks there was a rare delicacy of a rare wine... the famous wine of Guadosalam and the Thunder Plains, where grapes were breed in a specific environment, unknown to all but the breeders, and placed in a cooler for one hundred years. It was so hard to come by this type of wine that people waited for ages to get on the waiting list. How she got it I don't know but I felt so special...so unique to get this pleasure of drinking it.  
  
I sighed, looking at Paine with this emotion surging throughout me, filling me completely. Never, in my life, have I felt so alive. Every breath I take fills me more fully than my first breath of life, coming out of mother's womb all wet and sticky.  
  
As I was lost in my thoughts, Paine started to speak. "I know you may be wondering how I got all of this food here." She turned around then, and as I looked at her I saw a beautiful smile forming on her lips. "That will be my little secret, alright?" Her smile grew even wider. "I wanted to...ah...create a great dinner for you. Make it...memorable. I though that after everything we went through today, and...ah...what you told me," she glanced to the side for a minute, "so...I...ah...made you this." She waved her hand around, showing me again everything that she had made for me.  
  
"Wow..." I whispered in awe. "Paine...."  
  
"Shhh..." she shushed me, coming toward me and only stopping when she was inches away from me. "Let's just eat."  
  
So I sat down, right next to her, grabbed a plate, and dug in. I tried to catch everything that went by me, piling food upon my plate until I couldn't see the first bits of food I had put on first. Everything was wonderful, dancing with my tongue as it first entered my mouth, and warming me as it went down to my stomach, where it played for a long time before settling down. To say the least, the food was the best food I had ever tasted. It was like the Farplane in my mouth, soothing, calming...delicious.  
  
Dinner took us a while, and as we ate we watched the sun set slowly, bringing an ere glow upon the water, earth, and food, but we didn't notice. We were engaged in conversation, talking about our lives, about our hopes, fears, and wishes. We laughed over the stupid things we've done in the past but mostly about Rikku, talked seriously about things that should never be repeated again, and we enjoyed ourselves. I was sad when it was too dark to even see my own hand for that would mean that the night was over and things would have to go back to the way they were.  
  
Paine seemed to notice this and, with a word, beckoned me up. She took my hand and started to walk away from the cover where out leftovers sat. I was wondering why we were just leaving it when she explained it all to me. "I've got someone cleaning it up after we've left. Don't worry, just follow me."  
  
I nodded and it was then that I noticed that her hand was in mine. For the second time that day I thought that I would die with happiness, and all because of this silly, little, hand.... Our fingers twined with each other, swaying back and worth with the movements of our bodies, we walked not toward the village but towards the ocean.  
  
The whole journey to the ocean was silent; each of us stuck in our own emotions and feelings, yet through our hands things were said that words would never be able to explain. Things that you could only feel....never say....  
  
We played in the ocean for a while, chasing each other around the edges of the sound, splashing the water around, under the bright moonlight. It all went by in a blur. I was having so much fun that I never noticed the time. It was when I yawned that I finally asked about the time.  
  
"Does it matter?" Paine asked, taking my hand again and swinging me around.  
  
The place around me went by in a haze until I finally landed, hurting my butt in the process, in the water. It lapped up into my lap, soaking my back and cooling my insides. I sat there, stunned at my fall, but then laughed harder than ever. My shoes were squeaking, my hair floating in the water, and my clothing stuck to my back like a wounded child. As I laughed Paine came down and sat in the water with me. But she didn't sit next to me, she sat on me.  
  
She straddled my waist, legs on either side of me, in the water. She wasn't really touching me but I could feel her presence, her energy radiating off of her and loving me simply. Just everything about her was strong, sure of herself, and very arousing. Yet when I looked in her eyes, her face close to mine, she looked nervous. How could she do something like this, so brave, yet look so nervous when I actually looked at her?  
  
"Paine?" I asked, my voice a mere whisper.  
  
She just looked at my some more, daring me to speak. Her face, so soft, her eyes so tender, all of it sending shivers up and down my back.  
  
"I...I," I tried to say, although what I wanted to say I was not sure of.  
  
She silenced me with a finger to my lips, shaking her head. My lips closed themselves tightly, my breathing stopping, and my heart pounding louder than ever.  
  
I'm not quiet sure how things went after this; the raw emotions that I felt after this have made my mind fuzzy and hazing on the details. All I know is that she kissed me. She really, truly kissed me. She had done it in a non- fanfarish way, capturing my lips with her own and just...kissing me. When I finally realized that she had done it, that I had felt her lips against mine, she pulled away. She wouldn't even face me; it seemed like she was ashamed of what she had done!  
  
I almost laughed out loud at how silly she was! Would should she be ashamed of doing such a thing?! Oh Paine....  
  
Without any more thought, I grabbed her head, pulled her closer, and kissed her back.  
  
How can I describe such a wonderful feeling, such a beautiful act? Her lips were as soft as I dreamed them as, now that I finally got a chance to really feel them. They were like silk, moving tenderly against my own, rough lips. I was swimming in pleasure, lost in love and lust, trying to keep my head about me. It was all so wonderful...much better than anything else...than...than...  
  
My hands caressed her smooth face, feeling her cheeks, her neck, her hair, running my hands through it and delighting at their lightness. Her hands had found my back, bringing me closer, holding me close against her. I could almost feel her heart beating against my chest, pumping her blood throughout her body, giving her life....  
  
She started to gain control now, becoming more daring, for soon our kiss started to deepen. Her tongue played across my lips, requesting entrance into me. I let her in, meeting her with my own tongue, feeling her truly, completely. I tried to touch every corner of her, inside and out, and she did the same. Soon, with the water still covering our legs and waist, I started to let my hands roam all over her body, feeling her back, her arms, her chest. I could feel her hands wander over my own body as well, returning the touches and feelings that I was laying upon her.  
  
We stayed there, making out lightly, exploring each other, in the water for a while. The moon was bright over our heads and the wind start to make soft music against our skin and ears. Once we started shivering, laying in each other's embrace, we decided to get up and head back to the village. Although I was reluctant for it all to end, for all of this wonderful day to finally close its doors, I got up from the sand and tried to brush myself off. Once ready, I took her hand and led the way.  
  
Upon return to the village, everything was dark and quiet, the fire that usually raged in the middle was out and the moon was our only source of light. We made our way to Lulu's and Wakka's tent where we were to be pitched for the night, and dressed for sleep. I was so tired, so sleepy, that I barely noticed the goodnight kiss I received from Paine.  
  
I must say that the dreams I had that night were full of happiness.


	8. Caught

**Note:** I am so very sorry for the delay. Graduation, then several days of parties. Then writer's block and now, with my new laptop, I'm on a roll again. So hopefully I'll be back on track. And the story will get a little...shall we say, hotter. ;)  
  
**Chapter 8- Caught  
**  
Dawn had barely broken over the horizon when I was awaken by someone pushing and pulling on my shoulders. I moaned and groaned, waving away the hands and turning over. Whoever was waking me up this early was gong to get it...only after I have woken up fully of course.  
  
"Yuna."  
  
I know that voice. It's so sweet and soft, ringing gently in my ear. "Paine?" I groaned out, turning back over to look at her. My eyes went in and out of focus ass I adjusted to the light outside. Around me I could see four other beds littered around the floor, all of them empty and made.  
  
"Yuna, it's time to go," Paine started to say, dragging the covers off of me. I protested much louder this time, grabbing the sheets again. "Yuna! The Celsius is coming soon. We've gotta get packing!"  
  
"Oh...but...one more minute...please..." I pleaded, trying to get one extra moment in my nice, warm bed. I closed my eyes, trying very, very hard to ignore this amazing women standing above me.  
  
"Yuna, now, if you get out of bed," she started, her voice getting very playful and extremely sexy as I laid there, "I'll certainly reward you later."  
  
As her voice trailed off and suddenly I had opened my eyes, fully alert and very aware of what exactly I could receive for a reward. If it was anything like last night, I would have gotten up much, much sooner than this. I pushed the covers and blankets away from me, seeing them fly away in this large arch over my bed caught Paine' eye but she continued to watch me, a seductive smile creasing her lips. I sat up in bed, my pajamas showing, and I smiled up at her.  
  
"What kind of reward might I get now?" I asked, the same voice she had used on me was emanating from my mouth as if it was nature. I would have been surprised at my nature and demeanor if it had not been for the emotions running through me like hot water, scolding me everywhere it went, yet leaving a wonderful feeling once it had gone. I didn't care at all right now about how I might appear; all I cared about was getting my reward. "I am up now so you could give it to me as we speak..."  
  
A small chuckle, then a shake of the head. "Uh oh," she said, touching me lips with a single finger, "my little girl has to wait just a minute longer. We'll get on the ship first before I kiss you."  
  
With a wink, she turned to go, leaving me wide-eyed and wide-mouthed.  
  
"Wait!" I called after her, standing up and running to meet her. She stopped just a few feet from the flap of the tent. "I, um...I want to ask you something."  
  
Suddenly, the playful nature of my voice and spirit had left me, and now I felt nervous, timid. This was something serious; this was about us.  
  
"About...ah..." I started, trying to find the right words but all I could say was the "uhs" and "ahs" one would make in exactly my position. Please take pity on me. "About...um...ah...last night...um....was....um..."  
  
Thankfully, she stopped me from embarrassing myself even further. "It's as real as you want it to be."  
  
Her voice, so plain and yet so true, rang through me like beautiful music, calming my nerves and soothing me all over. It was all real as I wanted it to be, and, trust me, I wanted it o be realer than real. ...Does that make any sense at all? Sigh, the things that love will do to you.  
  
"Oh, well," I started, my voice becoming more normal with each word that came out of my mouth, "I want it to be real. As real as one can make it." Oh crap, I had to go and say something like that, showing the stupidity of my brain! Stupid, stupid Yuna!  
  
Far from laughing at me, far from scolding me for my lack of intelligence, Paine smiled. With that, she left the tent. And I was still standing there like a complete idiot.  
  
So maybe what had happened last night wasn't all a dream. Well, that was a relief, I though as I started to find my clothes scattered around the floor. All of last night as I laid there on my cot, trying to find sleep, I had tried to realize what exactly had happened between Paine and I. I mean...we kissed, that's for sure. And, yes, I suppose we did _make out_ just a little bit, but does it really mean something? I mean, I truly want all of that to have meant something. I don't just want to kiss her, having felt like I've done what I've always wanted to do, and just leave her. Nor do I want her to do that to me. I'm just worried that she doesn't think of this the same way as I think of it. I want this to be something real, something true, something that will stick around for a long time to come. I don't want it just to be a one-night stand sort-of thing.  
  
I guess I'll just have to talk to her, I thought to myself as I pulled on old outfit, and began to braid my hair a little more. The little lock of long hair I kept in the back of my head always got in the way and was starting to become a major pain, having to be braided almost everyday, falling out every time I take a shower, and almost being destroyed by every fiend I ever encounter. Although most of the times I come into contact with a fiend I hope and pray that'll hit my long portion of hair. But don't tell anyone I think that.  
  
Oh well, time to get going. I looked myself over, smoothing out the wrinkles as best as I could, grabbing my old stuff from the bed, and walked out of the tent. Paine and Rikku were waiting for me with Brother and Buddy, talking with Wakka about what had actually happened yesterday. The ting about the cave still worried me, sure it did, but I was more concerned about other things, mostly about the beautiful woman standing next to Wakka and Rikku, her mouth closed and her ears tuned to the talk of others.  
  
I looked at her frame, the sun playing its little rays across her, dazzling me until I felt dizzy. Her face looked even more beautiful than ever before, the early morning's light casting different shadows at each different hill and value upon her face, making her eyes glow an almost scary red, yet still I was fascinated, glued into place as I watched her listen to the others complain about something so stupid, something so useless than I wished I could just take her away and make her ears be used for something much more useful...  
  
They caught me looking at her though, just as I was about to think about her lips. Wakka called over to me to join them in their conversation before the airship arrives. Slowly, I walked over to them, taking a spot next to Wakka and facing Paine. I'm not sure if I actually planned all of this but now I could see her in a better detail than ever, and this was surely my time to take all of her beauty in. Or so I had hoped. The villagers had just started to wake up because of the noise from the incoming Celsius and the morning rays of sunshine, they flocked over to me once again, bombarding me with questions I had already answered.  
  
Oh how simple people can be sometimes! I kept my calm though, answering all of theirs questions with a polite air about me, and I almost thought I saw Paine smile out of the corner of my eye.  
  
After a few minutes of talk Buddy had announced the Celsius's arrival and that boarding of the ship would happen at this very moment. I was so relieved at being able to finally board the airship that I was the first to get on, to the dismay of the villagers who were still throwing me question after question.  
  
Finally, having found the safety of the airship, I made my way to the cabin, hoping that Paine would find me there.  
  
Always she is on my mind. Never before has someone plagued my thoughts and stirred up feelings inside me that I never thought I was capable of. It was all so amazing really, and I never wanted it to stop. I never wanted these feelings to go away. Although I doubt that they will ever go away, I told myself, climbing up the stairs to get to my mind, they grew stronger every time you see her. Soon I might burst from all of these crazy emotions and thoughts I have within me!  
  
I crashed onto my bed, jumping up into the air and landing safely upon the comforter I had spread out across my bed. Oh, how soft it felt! It felt so good to be make in my bed, closing my eyes and letting myself drift away. I was still so tired and everything was going on around me way to fast. Things were almost out of control yet I know, somehow, that it was far from being at that point. Never, eve, had anything ever made me feel like this before.  
  
"You aren't going back to bed on me, are you?"  
  
I turned on my back, my eyes open, to look straight at Paine, towering over my bed like a giant.  
  
"Oh, no!" I said, trying not to smile. "I was just resting my eyes! They need some resting."  
  
She didn't look convinced.  
  
"Anyway," I started, suddenly finding a great interest in my fingernails, "I still want to get my reward for getting up..."  
  
I continued to stare at my fingers, trying to pick some of the dirt out, when my head was suddenly lifted upwards. Paine's hands had grabbed my face, pulling me forward until my lips were mere inches away from her own. I sucked in a large mouthful of air, surprised at the sudden movements that she was making. My stomach, in knots, didn't help my airways either.  
  
"Oh," she breathed out, her words tickling my chin and mouth, "you'll get your reward."  
  
And with that, she kissed me full on the lips, tongue already seeking entrance. I opened up, moaning at the sudden contact, and meet her tongue with a passion I had never experienced before. Dancing and twirling they went, going in and out of each other's mouth, and never did we stop for air. Air is trivial in such a game as this, not needed while the contact that we're making is vital.  
  
She pushed me onto the bed, forcing me down into the mattress. Laying on top of me, the contact of her whole body sent shivers up and down my back, arousing me like never before. I felt so warm inside yet this fire that came up from inside of my stomach was rising harder and faster, making me cry out with wanting. Her whole body pressed into me, her right leg pushing in between my legs, making rubbing against areas never usually touched. Oh the pleasure that ran through me then was so unbelievable!  
  
Her kisses continued, each one growing more passionate and deeper than the last. Her hands started to move from my face, moving downward, touching my chest. My hands too were moving down, clutching onto her back and pushing her against me. We were so close yet...not close enough.  
  
Before I knew it, her lips had left mine. I whimpered at the sudden lose of that sweet and beautiful contact, but was pleasured once I felt her lips again. This time she started to kiss my neck, licking, biting, and sucking all along my throat, moving ever downward onto my collarbone, pushing back the pink material that was in her way.  
  
I couldn't control myself any longer and I gave myself into the feelings I felt, the emotions that were running rapid through me. I pushed my hips up, trying to get her leg move into me, touching me harder. My hands were finding their way underneath her clothes, ripping and pulling until I found her skin. I moved up and down her back, pushing on the skin so hard that I thought it might be red. She groaned to, kissing me harder and faster.  
  
Oh things were going so well. Her hands finally reaching my breasts, were she kneaded them, rolling them inside of her hands.  
  
"Paine..." I moaned out, finally finding my voice. Oh what a reward this was! I'll wake up everyday for this!  
  
But before things went any further, before clothes were shed and things got heated, I heard footsteps behind me. Then, feeling my heart stop within my chest, I heard a gasp. And this gasp wasn't from Paine.  
  
My hands stopped, her hands and lips stopped, both of us frozen in time as we laid there, in a very interesting position.  
  
I looked around Paine, scared of who it was behind her.  
  
Rikku stood there, mouth wide open, hands at her side.  
  
Shit. 


	9. Relief and Destruction

**Chapter 9- Relief and Destruction**  
  
"Rikku!" Paine squeaked out, surprise and nervousness evident in her voice. My own exclamations of surprised followed shortly after, my voice tight.  
  
Oh shit, what was going to happen now that Rikku knew that, well, Paine and I were sort of caught up with one another? How would she react? Would she look at us in a more disgusted look than is already upon her face? Would she run away screaming, rushing up to the Bridge to tell Brother. Brother! Buddy! What would they think?! I know that guys usually like that sort of...stuff, but still! That doesn't really mean that they'll understand all of this. I mean, how can guys understand what really happens between two women at this point in time, when emotions are running so high? And what about the rest of Spira? What would happen when the found out that their High Summoner, having defeated Sin not too long ago, happens to...like girls?!  
  
At that moment in time, it felt like my whole life was crashing down before me, my joys and happiness crumbling before my very eyes, the pieces falling quickly to the ground. And there they shattered into a million more pieces. I felt tears starting to well up behind my eyes. Things were just looking better and better by the minute.  
  
To my extreme surprise, my worries and concerns left me at a very fast pace. Suddenly, Rikku was smiling.  
  
"Oh! You guys!!" She screamed, capturing both of us into a hug, pushing us onto my bed once more. The air from my lungs was pushed violently out of my mind, expressed by a rather large amount of air rushing out of my mouth as the two of them toppled over onto me. "You should have told me earlier!" Her grip on Paine and I tightened even further, my ability to breath compromised. "This is so sweet! Oh my god! You two! This is so exciting!"  
  
After having enough of squishing us to death, Rikku jumped back up, bounding up and down into the air, her airs flaring, her hair floating in the air. A smile was etched firmly onto her face and soon both Paine and I had one too.  
  
"Rikku," I asked tentatively, my smile growing wider and wider as I looked at Paine, "you aren't...freaked out? I mean, you did find us...ah...in an interesting...position...."  
  
She stopped bouncing, obviously working hard to calm herself down long enough to look us straight in the eye. "Oh, Yuna! This is so amazing! I'm not freaked out at all! Actually, I'm very happy for you! This is so...awesome!" Her voice had now grown to pitch that was hurtful to human ears. I covered my ears in pain.  
  
"Rikku, this is great," I heard Paine's muffled voice through my hands, "but you could try to keep it down. It isn't that big of a deal...I mean...no one really needs to know, now do they?"  
  
Rikku's smile turned into a frown. I was almost sure her pitch had come down, as her face had grown less happy over Paine's statements, so I found it safe to bring my hands down from my ears. "Why can't people know?" She glanced between Paine and I, searching for an answer. I frowned back at her, trying to make her understand without using my words. "It's so cool though!"  
  
Paine stretched out her arms, taking her by her shoulders in an attempt to stop her ceaseless bouncing. "I know it's wonderful, but we ," at this she looked at me to make sure I agree, "don't really want the whole of Spira knowing that were....involved."  
  
Involved? Paine said that we were involved?! Oh such happy words! Involved...it was one of the best things that I had heard yet today. So it really wasn't those one-time things after all. I didn't have to worry about anything at all. Things were going alright.  
  
I stood up, happy as ever before, watching Paine leave down the stairs. Nothing could be better, that is, until Rikku took me by the shoulders and asked me for a word.  
  
"Rikku," I said, sitting back down on my bed, "what's up?"  
  
"I just want to say," Rikku started, sitting down next to me and looking into my eyes. I was barely aware of her taking my hands in her own, placing them in her lap. "That I'm worried about you and Paine."  
  
"Worried?"  
  
"Yeah...I mean," she glanced around, trying hard not to meet my eyes, "I am delighted to know that you've finally found someone to be with, even if it is a girl and is, well, Paine, but...Yunie.... What about Spira? What about their thoughts? Will they really accept you for who you are? I mean...liking girls isn't exactly tabbo."  
  
I had thought about this, of course I had, and it worried me to. But right now, in the throes of happiness and delight, I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to be happy and right now, Spira could wait. They didn't need me right now, Sin was destroyed and things were going okay, right? I can enjoy myself right now...right? I just want to be happy!  
  
"I know, Rikku, I know." I sighed, squeezing her hand for support, and got up.  
  
Please, let me forget about this for one minute. I caught up to Paine, waiting for me right outside of the cabin, and together we made our way towards the bridge, Rikku following along at our heels.

* * *

We made it to the Bridge shortly, all of us waiting for an debriefing of what happened on Besaid. Things I had already known and guessed were relayed back to me during our little meeting. There was darkness in there and things didn't want Paine and I getting out. Blah blah blah, was all I really heard. My attention was better spent on watching Paine's face and expressions as she took all of it in. My guess as to what she actually doing was the same thing that was happening to me. The blah blahs were running through her head like me, coming in one ear and going out the other.  
  
Yawn; what a boring meeting! My time could have been better spent doing other things. Much better things, in fact, things that shall not be named at this point in time. That is better left for latter.  
  
"So, where should we go next, Gullwings?" Shinra asked us, my mind finally waking up once I realized a question was poised not only to my companions but to me as well.  
  
"What do you mean, 'go next'?" Paine asked tentatively over to my right. Confusion played across her face and I imagined I had the same look upon my own.  
  
"Well," Shinra started, his voice muffled in a very way behind his mask. I had always found it amusing but in my elated state for all the events happening recently it was more humorous than ever. "This darkness inside this cave is obviously worrying people. Word has spread that something is there and all of Spira is alight with gossip and new concern over this 'thing' residing within this tiny cave in Besaid. I'm just assuming that Yuna here would like to do something, am I correct?"  
  
I nodded my head. Not only did I want to do something about this "darkness" that had recently appeared, but it was obligation to do something. I know I wave this around way to much but it's only the truth: I am the High Summoner. I must protect Spira!  
  
"Well, then," Buddy piped up, "were should we start?"  
  
That's a good question, I thought, where should we go next? I mean, it obviously originated from that cave in Besaid but who knew if there were other things like it all over Spira? And what about the people? Didn't they need someone to calm them down? Wouldn't I be needed in places other than Besaid?  
  
Just as I was thinking, as I was sitting there peacefully, something came over with such a powerful force that I was almost knocked over backwards. Anger, so commanding and insisting, came over me that suddenly I was not in control of my actions any more. It was as if I was watching myself from far away. I saw myself screaming and yelling at everyone. But what was worse, I was yelling at Paine.  
  
It wasn't just me though, it was everyone. At that very moment, everyone started screaming, trying to get some odd point across as to where to go next. What was happening, I asked myself on some detached level? What am I doing? Why am I feeling all of this anger and jealousy over everyone, and, most importantly, over Paine? Why is everyone doing this as well? What the hell is going on?!  
  
The fighting went on for what seemed like forever. And although it was funny to see Shinra shouting along with all of us, it was unsettling. Something wrong and evil was going on. The Gullwings don't fight like this. Something is terribly wrong!  
  
When I was finally back in control of myself, I was huddled up in a cave near the entrance to Macalania Woods, a fire roaring inside, and thick blankets covering my shoulders as I clutched them within my balled up fists.  
  
"Wha-?" I said aloud, suddenly wondering where I really was.  
  
Obviously I was in a cave in Macalania Woods and no longer on the Celsius, but how did it happen. The last thing I recalled was shouting at the other members of my team. I don't really know what we were arguing about but I knew that something inside of me hurt.  
  
An ache, so acute and severe, was coming from somewhere inside of my stomach, moving upwards until my whole heart was captured within this pain. And then I realized it. Throughout all of the shouting, all of the fighting, all of the stupid arguing over where to go, Paine had left me. I remember now. I remember her giving me this horrible look, snorting at me, and walking off of the airship without so much as a look behind, her bags of crap gripped firmly in her hands. She had left me...and although we hadn't really been "at it" for a long time, the pain from the "break-up" seared through me like hot metal, burning me from the inside out.  
  
I shook my head. What? Was this really real? I brought the blanket tighter around my shoulders, trying so hard to remember. I searched hard within my brain, looking for ever single detail pertaining to that event. I came up with very little.  
  
"I don't understand," I said to myself, starting to rock back and forth. "Why...why did she leave? Why am I here?"  
  
I looked around me, taking in my little cave for the first time. The walls were cold even to look at, and steel-like floor emanating some sort of evil force, and the air around me cooled not only the outside of my body but somehow was able to seep through my skin and bones to chill my insides. I was in a place where barely anyone knew existed. The middle of nowhere yet in the middle of everywhere. People were all around me, in the Calm Lands and Bevelle, just waiting to rescue me and tell me that I was just having a nightmare. In fact, any minute now, I would wake up and find myself back onboard the Celsius, waiting for Paine to come and reward me....  
  
A crash of thunder brought me crashing back to reality, rain suddenly pouring outside. I could see it clearly, all of the individual droplets of rain coming down outside through the cave entrance. Unlike the one in Besaid this one had a big large arch for an entrance, letting the rain come in. At least my fire was far away so as not to get we. Well, there's one thing that's good about today....  
  
I moved slightly to one side and I could hear something rustling against me. I looked and found a bag to my great dismay. So...I had walked out to. Try to think, Yuna, try....  
  
Yes...I had walked out just after Paine. I was hurting then like I am now, my dignity at knowing that I was right overpowering any other feelings I may have been feeling at that point in time. I had walked out of the Celsius in much the same manner as Paine had done, not looking back at my comrades that surely felt the same arrogance that I had felt then.  
  
Hold on a minute, backtrack just a minute. We were fighting over a simple question, right?  
  
Right.  
  
The question was where to go next, correct?  
  
Correct.  
  
Then, suddenly, out of no where, I stared to get really angry. Then I started to yell and scream at everyone just at the same time everyone else was. Am I right so far?  
  
Yes.  
  
So, then, we must have argued for a long time, for it is almost dark now, the sun setting as I speak as the rain pounds down, about this stupid, stupid question?  
  
Must have.  
  
Okay then, I've got that sorted out. I shifted my position in front of the fire again. Through my trials of trying to figure out what exactly had happened about the airship my pain from Paine had left me. At least for the time being.  
  
Then we all decided to go in our own directions, right?  
  
We didn't decide. Our arrogance and anger led us to just choose this way.  
  
Right. So we all left on our own paths....Why?  
  
Don't know. Must be something to do with that cave. It was evil, remember?  
  
Of course! I struck my head in understanding. That evil is following me. Of course, why didn't I think about it before!  
  
Oh don't take that tone! You know we're right. Somehow, deep inside of ourselves, we knew we're right.  
  
Wow, have a turned into a mental case, having a conversation with myself inside of my head.  
  
"Well, at least I'm not talking to myself, right?"  
  
If only the pain hadn't come back I would have laughed at myself.  
  
So, after that, what happened?  
  
Rikku left, her bags packed, heading for Kilika. Then Shinra left, not caring whenever about anything, and departed for Bevelle. Whether or not he'll get a welcome there was yet to be seen, I suppose. Brother and Buddy seemed to getting along alright, both wanting to go to Mt. Gagazet for some odd reason, so they took the ship. Of course, this was decided before anyone had left and the fighting was still ragging.  
  
And Paine...?  
  
She went to the Calm Lands.  
  
The Calm Lands? So she's close by, right? I could go see her right now.  
  
But my legs wouldn't move; I was rooted to the spot by some unseen force. Then, my common sense started to kick in. She had left me, the second to last one to leave, right before me. Such hatred showed clear in her burning red eyes, piercing me like knifes all throughout my body. At that time it didn't really register that but now I do.  
  
Oh crap. After everything it's all over in the blink of an eye, over a stupid little question as to where to go next. We're over.... But then again were we together? Or was it just what I had feared: just a fling. I guess it was....  
  
The realization started to sink in again, the ache returning to my chest and stomach, folding my insides into knots of turmoil. Tears started to form up behind my eyes, burning them underneath my lids, my throat growing tight and dry. She...left. Things weren't going to be as I imagined. I had wanted what Paine and I were beginning to go on...for a long time if not forever. I had never felt this way about anyone before and when she touched me, kissed me, this passion and heat rose within me that I never thought existed. I was thinking things like never before, my happiness never- ending. At least, it was. My breath had always caught in my throat whenever I looked at her, especially her eyes. She held so much behind them, cowering behind her defenses so no one would ever understand her. But I did. I understood her more than anyone else from this few times we were together, touching and kissing. It felt so right and wonderful, like nothing could ever complete me like her.  
  
I sighed. Things were going so well that I thought it would go on forever. I couldn't see the end at all for all I could see in the future was happiness...with Paine. But, that was all wrong. All wrong....  
  
Slowly tears started to run down my face, my eyes no longer able to hold them inside anymore. And then it started. Tears started to come down just as heavy as the rain pouring outside, and the sobs that escaped from my mouth shacked the whole cave with their echoes. I sat there, drowning myself with my tears and cries, rocking back and forth, staring absent mindedly into the fire.  
  
I'm not sure how long I sat there crying but when I looked back outside the rain was still pouring and the sun had now completely been vanished from sight. All the light I could see came from the full moon and that was only when it decided to show itself from out of the heavy clouds.  
  
I was about to put my head back in my hands and continue my pain in my own way for, hey, I was halfway to the point of total and utter destruction, when I heard footsteps outside.


	10. As The Rain Falls Outside

**Warning/Note: **This chapter is going a little...well...outside the boundarys of the rating of "R", if you know what I mean. You may find a few..."surprises", okay? Just thought I'd warn you, in case you aren't in for that sort of stuff.

And, please, please be gentle on me. This is my first _real_ time writing such a hot and heavy scene so if it isn't exactly what you wanted I'm sorry. I'll improve next time. Oh yeah, I have no beta reader so there may be a few grammar mistakes. Hopefully they won't get in the way of your reading.

Okay, enough talk, enjoy the "show"!

* * *

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**Chapter 10- As the Rain Falls Outside**  
  
As the rain fell outside I could hear the footsteps somehow over the constant pounding of the drops upon the hard earthen floor. I had heard footsteps.  
  
A small flare of hope was kindled inside of me, hoping that somehow, someway, it would be Paine, coming to say that she was sorry. 'I never should have left,' she would say, her lips in a frown, her hair wet and matted, and her eyes soft as feathers. 'I am so sorry, Yuna, so sorry....'  
  
No! What am I thinking? I have about as much of a chance as Paine coming to me as Tidus would be to come back. Both are far away from my location and so very distant from me on a very different level. I am totally, and utterly, alone.  
  
Except I heard footsteps, thus I am not alone. If it's not Paine...or Tidus...and couldn't be Rikku, Brother, Shinra, or Buddy....  
  
A fiend.  
  
I took out my gun, knocking it ready, and brought it up to my face. I could feel the cold, hard metal against my skin. My breath made a mark on it, showing up as I breathed out my excess, little, white, pieces of vapor forming up on the metal. Even with the fire it was unusually cold. A cold, hard night....I heard some more thunder crashing in the distance and then a flash of lightening flew across the horizon, barely able to see it through the cave entrance.  
  
The footsteps had stopped. Why? And why should I wait around here to find out? The fire would surely attract many creatures and things that I don't particularly want at this moment in time. Although I am in a very terribly state of mind, I want to be left alone. Let me be sad and depressed in peace! Don't these creatures know anything at all?!  
  
The rain came down harder as I stood up. I walked slowly towards the entrance. Even though I was closing in on the entrance and the ultimate encounter with this thing I could not see it at all. The rain pouring down created this thick, dark sheet that made visibility come to an all-time low. Not only that but the moon...or should I say the lack of the moon tonight made it even harder for me to close my eyes on the figure I know was outside. I would have a hard time defeating this thing if I can't even see it. And it can probably see me.  
  
I heard rustling outside, a shuffle of feet (or paws) back and forth as the thing waited for me. It knew I was coming. It was waiting for me, patiently, knowing that it would get an almost easy kill. Well, I would give it a hard fight if it was my time to die.  
  
I could still feel the pains from my desertion in the back of my mind and heart, but in the forefront know was the anxiety and exhilaration of getting into a fight. Through all of the fights with fiends I have had over my many years of "service" it has never grown dull or routine. Never. Never will it become this for surely I will die when I start to lose interest in it. When I lose interest I slip up and then....bam, I'm gone.  
  
Feet away from the entrance. I could now start to make out an outline. It was a tall figure, shaped like a human.  
  
I stood up straighter as I saw them. This person was slender, but with hips, like a woman's. This was no fiend, nor any male, this was a female. But who?  
  
It can't be Paine, it just can't. I can't be thinking that to only find out that it's Rikku or someone else behind this mask of darkness. I have to learn to keep these damn emotions under control. I must learn. And I will. Never again will I fall for this stupid emotion of love. It hurts too much. The burning, the aching, the pain that you feel once you realize that it's over. Or the pain of realization that it was all just a small little thing...a fling...when you wanted more. It hurts to be dumped.  
  
But, then again, was I dumped?  
  
Stop it Yuna! Concentrate on this...person!  
  
They started to walk towards me, the outline of a sword hanging on the other side of their back. It was long, but with a rather fat blade....  
  
"I know that sword," I whispered to myself, suddenly in this sense of awe. "P-Paine?!"  
  
The figure stopped.  
  
"Yuna...."  
  
Oh, sweet Spira, it's Paine. She's come back! She hasn't deserted me after all! All of my turmoil, my sorrow, was for nothing! She's come back....  
  
But how am I sure about this? Well, I'm not. I'm not sure she's back for me. Maybe she wants to rub it in a little more. I wouldn't think Paine capable of such a thing but...if she can dump me once she can do it again.  
  
No. No matter how much it hurts I can't let her do this to me again. I can't take her back even if she wants me back. I know that's why she's here; to try and take me back. Why else would she be here? I have to be strong.  
  
Oh, but I know strong is going to be so hard. So, very, hard.  
  
"Paine..." I said, choking on my own words, "w-what are you d-doing here?"  
  
My hair started to get wet, water dripping down my face. My shirt starting to stick to my shirt, clinging to me tightly, keeping me close as I stood out there, facing her. My pants grew tight as well and I soon would barely be able to walk. The rain kept falling outside.  
  
"I..." she began, shifting her eyes to stare so intently upon the ground near her feet. "I...I wanted to...to a-apologize...for what happened earlier."  
  
My start started to grow dry, my heart jumping into my throat and beating harshly against every nerve ending in my body. She came to apologize? She...she....No, wait, I must be strong. She can't and won't do this to me ever again. I will not be hurt by her again! Never, ever....  
  
I opened my mouth to talk, raining dropping inside, my mouth taking it in greedily, but no words came out.  
  
Paine saw this as she glanced up from the ground. Her eyes barely graced my own, looking hastily back to the ground as she noticed where I was looking: directly into her eyes.  
  
"I...I don't know what happened to me today. Suddenly," a sighed escaped from her mouth, "I had all these emotions of anger and I-I lost control. I didn't know what I was doing at all. I was yelling and screaming at everyone over this silly little question...." She paused for a minute, looking around the ground and soon settled upon her other foot. "And I knew it was silly and stupid and that I should be doing this but...but..." She looked up now, her face twisted in pain, confusion, and...well...hope. "I didn't mean it Yuna!" She said forcefully yet still it had this sweet tone to it. She really meant it. "I am so sorry, I never, ever wanted to yell at you! I-I didn't want to walk out, I swear," her head moved back down, hiding her eyes. "I wanted to stay with you...forever. I don't want to leave you."  
  
She...she...oh I can't even think! She wants to stay with me! She really, really does! She never wanted to leave me and I really do believe her. Even if I did say that I wouldn't take her back, that I wouldn't give in to her wants and my needs but...but...oh the emotions and the power I feel now are so overwhelming that I can do nothing but give in.  
  
"Paine...."  
  
"Yuna, I know that...that you may not want me back in your life at all, and I understand that. I did something awful to you. As much as it hurts me it must hurt you so much more. I just wanted to..." she lifted up her face now, showing me small beads of water near her eyes. Either tears or small drops of rain I was not sure. It could have been the rain for her hair was so wet with it, dripping it down slowly onto her face. But, somehow, I knew that they were tears. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry."  
  
And with that, Paine turned and slowly started to walk away from me, her footsteps echoing against the hard floor like they did as she approached my cave. I wanted to stop her but I just couldn't move. My feet were rooted to the ground, sucking up the water from it as if I was a plant. My mouth was open in shock, water seeping into me, and I was growing colder and colder as I watched her go.  
  
Move it, damn you, move it! I have to go get her! I have to tell her how I feel, that I want her back and I don't give a shit of what I promised myself earlier! This is love, I know it is, and I have to go along with it or I will regret it forever afterwards. How can my life go on without her? How?  
  
"Paine!" I yelled at her, suddenly running towards her.  
  
She turned, tears streaking down her face faster than ever. She looked puzzled; obviously she didn't really expect me to come running after her. It only took her a second though, to understand what was going on, and once she did, she started to run too.  
  
So there we were, running through the rain and into each other's arms, finding each other so soft and warm that I heard one loud moan as we reached each other. In one swift motion our hands went to each other's face, taking it firmly and pushing it towards our lips. There contact was made.  
  
Soft, fresh lips, wet from tears and water, touched my own and suddenly I found myself right back to where I began, ready to cry and break down. Except this time, I wasn't ready to cry from heartache and sorrow; I was almost in tears from happiness. I was finally kissing Paine once again, running my tongue along her lips, tasting the salty tears still residing there. And when I finally felt her tongue against mine, I felt at home.  
  
Here we are, kissing passionately outside, for all to see, standing in the pouring rain. My hands ran down her back, feeling her soft, wet skin. Her hands were feeling my back as well, running along the bones of my shoulders, racking her fingers up and down my back, sending shivers through my spine.  
  
As our tongues collided with each other, desperate for control and dominance over the other, I found that the feeling of her smooth back and the taste of her tongue in my mouth wasn't enough. Suddenly the fire came back from within my stomach, the same one that I was feeling on the airship, and I was losing control. No longer could I stand the annoying material hindering me from feeling her skin all over me. Nor could I stand just her hands on my back. I need them to touch me, everywhere, to cup my breasts and run along my thighs. But I needed my hands to move as well, twisting her nipples and tickling her legs. I needed everything, I need every part of her, touching every part of me.  
  
Paine seemed to notice this, sensing my rising passion, for soon she started to tug and pull at my clothing. Before long, I heard the ripping of my clothing as the material would not give way to the forces of her arms. The rain and water didn't make our task of shedding each other of frustrating clothing, but it seemed that neither of us really cared about preserving the material. Pieces of my shirt were flying here and there, fluttering to the ground, filled with water, as Paine ripped my shirt to pieces. As she frantically tried to get my chest bare, I found, through a hazer of fog floating around in my head, that I was doing the same thing to her. Although my upper body strength was not as great as Paine's was, I was still successful in getting pieces of black material off of her, finding white skin underneath, warm and soft to my rough touch.  
  
Before I knew what was happening, my breasts were being bombarded by not only the rain from above but by gentle yet firm hands, cupping them, feeling them everywhere. Oh god...I moaned my agreement as to this new course of action, tilting my head back, pushing out my chest, and closing my eyes.  
  
Soft drops of water against my face...firm hands against my breasts...a leg between my thigh....  
  
I kept my eyes closed as she moved me, bringing me into the cave with the fire, and laying me down on the backshift bed I had arranged earlier that day. I couldn't really concentrate, the feeling of her hands on my chest was so intoxicating that my thoughts were so jumbled and confused, bumping into each other at high rates, and my realization of what was happening was at an all-time low.  
  
As I felt her body make contact with mine, her bare chest slowly covering mine, she suddenly pulled back. I opened my eyes in surprise, wondering what was going on. Although I wanted to ask her a question, my mouth open in an attempt, I stopped. Now, with her top-portions of clothing off, I could see only parts of her, but oh what beautiful parts they were.  
  
Her breasts, so round and gorgeous, hung simply down, swaying with her movements as she straightened up. Her nipples were hard, little round buds poking out from white skin, with little beads of rain collecting on them, dripping of her. Oh what I wouldn't give to suck those rain drops off of her, licking my tongue up and down, swapping the rain for my saliva....  
  
"Yuna," Paine spoke, her voice low and salty, "I need to know...if this...is what you want."  
  
Pulling my eyes away from her breasts, as hard as it was, I looked at her. I saw something there that I had never really seen before. She was scared and nervous, showing a side of her that she may never have shown before, and all to me. But beyond all of this, I saw something that gave my strength even through my own doubts. I saw this fiery passion and love that warmed my heart all over again, lighting up my nerves and loins, giving me so much more resolve to go ahead...to make love to her.  
  
"Oh yes, Paine," I moaned out, reaching up for her. I brought her slowly down on top of me, feeling the way her body felt on me, feeling the heavenly feeling of skin against skin. "Yes, Paine...of course...."  
  
And with that, I began a kiss that wouldn't end until the sun came up.  
  
In retrospect, I'm not quite sure how I remember everything that happened. I mean...oh, it's all so confusing! I was so very aware of what I was doing, of how much I had wanted this, how much I wanted it, and how much I want it still, but...I was also aware of this nagging nervousness and fear, eating me up from the inside. How might I go about...loving Paine? Even if it seems so simple, so easy, how could I master all the fine, subtle things I needed to have, or know, to give her everything that she wanted? I found out, in the end, that it wasn't the mastery that she wanted, it was just the simple touches that set her off most.  
  
And then, there was the fear. What would Spira think? Their High Summoner, making love to one of her friends, a girl even more so?! Even if I wanted this, even if more than anything I wanted this to happen, would they truly accept it? So, without any regards for anyone else, I let myself go, giving in to what I wanted, for the first time. I have never regretted doing such a thing, and never will I.  
  
We laid underneath the light covers, covering our naked bodies, residing on top of the hard floor of the cave. Our legs were entwined with one another, her thigh pressing into my center, and my own was pressing into hers. Our hands were still caressing each other's chest, feeling the curves and dips of each of our bodies, relishing in just how complex and delicate someone can actually be. This was how we stayed for a very long time, just touching each other above the waist, too scared to go much further. It seemed that if we stayed up here, kneading and feeling each other's breasts than nothing could go wrong, that our fears would never have to come out. Our mouths stayed stuck to each other, fearful that if we even moved then the other would scream out and yell at the other. It wasn't like I didn't like all of this fearful touching, caresses as light and scared as our hearts, but I wanted more. I needed more. The fire between my legs was growing to a yell, ripping my brain in two from want and desire. Something had to be done. But, then again, I was too scared to start it.  
  
"Paine," I breathed out, taking myself painfully away from her wet lips, "please...keep going."  
  
A smile, a lick of her lips, and then she dipped her head. Her lips had started their slow progression downwards, stopping at every part of my body that was deemed worthy. First was my throat, sucking at my pulse, nipping lightly at my skin. She licked her tongue all along my jaw, kissing and almost eating her way down.  
  
She stopped at my breasts as well. If she had forgotten those, though, I would have been mad indeed. Here she spent much of her time. She seemed to like them so much, although her opinion was never_ truly_ voiced, but her actions spoke for her. She would kiss and lick all along the base of my breasts, her fingers dancing around the edges of the other one, never losing momentum. Then, slowly, her lips would change pace, moving upwards, kissing and nipping at ever bit of flesh she spied, her hand pinching and rubbing the other one.  
  
It all felt so good...pleasure radiating from my chest, moving upwards and into my head, filling me with haze and clouding up my eyes. I couldn't see, so I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the pillow. My hands ran along her back, pushing her forward, urging her on, rubbing her back. The feel of skin against my hands was about the only thing that kept me rooted down to Spira.  
  
She nipped at my nipple, making me grunt out in pleasure. She kissed and licked it all over, blowing on it to make it spike up even more, until she seemed to be done with it. I almost thought that she had had enough with my chest until her kisses were planted across my middle, moving slowly other to my other side. Once she reached the deserted one, she did the exact same thing to it, starting at its base and moving tenderly up to the tip, were it soon grew red from all the attention she was giving it. With one last kiss on my tip, she brought her mouth back up to my face.  
  
I opened my eyes, using way too much effort, to look at her. An evil smile was playing across her lips and it was only after she started to kiss me, her tongue searching out all the corners in my mouth that I realized her hands were slowly making their way down my stomach. Everywhere her hands went, her finger tips touching me lightly, burned a trail of fire, scouring my skin with white marks.  
  
I heard myself begging from far away, pushing my hips upward to coax her right hand further down. Even through all of this she still made her own sweet time down my stomach, and it seemed to take forever for her to reach my soft curls near my legs, already wet with want.  
  
Slowly, she began to circle around the area, playing with the hair, feeling up and down the flesh underneath it all. I begged and moaned, seeking some sort of release from all of these feelings that were rushing through me, but she denied me all that I wanted. Her fingers played across my skin...touching lightly...light kisses from her fingertips....  
  
Then, as unrepentantly as anything ever before, she cupped me, her palm pressing up against the fire ragging below. I screamed, pushing my hips up further, pleasure flowing through me from the sweet, warm contact.  
  
"Paine..." I breathed out, tossing my head from side to side, my eyes closed in tight concentration. "More...please...."  
  
Her fingers started to become separate identities, moving over my clit in small motions. With each flick of her fingers I jumped, taking in a large breath. It was a slow sort of torture and somehow the strength of her, the strength of her fingers against me, was taking me somewhere that I have never seen before. Light started to flow behind my covered eyes, my head seemed to swell up, and my body seemed to erupt in fire. I was so close...so very close to this edge where beyond it I knew rested everything that I had been built up to, everything that I ever hoped for.  
  
Paine seemed to sense this, taking my twitching legs and arms as a sign, and with one, fluid motion, she pushed her finger up inside me, filling me. I gasped, not expecting such an action, but so happy that I moaned shortly afterwards. I stayed still, just relishing in the feeling of Paine, inside of me, and how she filled me so easily and completely.  
  
One more finger was pushed up as well, stretching me out, filling me in even more places. Then one last finger followed and soon all three of them were moved in and out, creating this solid rhythm that brought me such pleasure that with each thrust of her hands I moaned and grunted in happiness.  
  
My hips started to move with her, matching each drive of her fingers, pushing them into me more and more. My legs started to twitched even harder, moving feet at a time, my back arched, my head swam, my mouth opened....Nothing was more important than this rhythm, one of love and trust, of pleasure and happiness, of acceptance and hope. Nothing was more urgent than the moving of my hips, the pushing of her fingers, the sweat rolling down my face, and the salty bitterness of tears rolling down my eyes.  
  
Something exploded within me, filling me, radiating out from my loins, filling me with such pleasure that I had never thought possible. Such pleasure...such happiness, can never be described. It was just...there, filling me completely with such security and affection....  
  
"Paine..." I whispered, slowly coming down from the heights that she had carried me to, "I...I..."  
  
A finger to my lips shushed me. Slowly, her hands moved away from my center, emptying me of the wonderful bliss that had filled me just mere moments before. I felt so empty, so sad, yet whole and in a pure state of bliss....  
  
Arms folded over me like a blanket, tucking the covers in over my back, making sure that I was warm and cozy. My head swam as I closed my eyes, resting my head against her breast, my breath tickling her skin. She shushed me to sleep, rocking me back and forth like a child, holding me tightly in her arms.  
  
Tears ran down my eyes, clear drops of pure pleasure and happiness, for all to see and behold. I didn't care right now what someone else thought, I was too...happy....  
  
I feel asleep shortly afterwards, pleasure still pulsing through my veins, my ears hearing the soft pounding of Pane's heartbeat.  
  
Outside, the rain had stopped.


	11. The Day After

**Note: **Now I have a beta-reader. Thanks go out to Supremia.

**Chapter 11-The Day After**

I watched her in her sleep, marveling at how her breasts moved up and down as her lungs expanded with air, letting it out slowly through her open lips. She looked so beautiful in the darkness, even if I couldn't see all of her curves and valleys that graced my eyes from time to time. Oh how could I get someone so beautiful, so wonderful, and so talented (in many ways)? I was so plain and yet she still wanted me. Or, at least, I think she still does.

I laid wide awake under the covers, Paine's warm body close to mine, her breath tickling my face as she breathed, in and out, her face laying just inches from mine. I knew that my eyes were looking at the rough, stone ceiling of the cave we slept in, looking damp, yet I didn't see it at all. I saw…other things, pictures to caption the thoughts that were floating through my head, playing with my mind, slowly driving me insane Even though I wanted to go back asleep, to find that happy place inside of myself, I couldn't. The sun was not up yet, the moonwas still high in the sky, but it had been hours since I first feel asleep, wrapped up in her arms….

What was I doing? Oh good Spira! What have I done? I have slept with Paine, letting myself go to these passionate desires of mine,never once thinking of the other people of this world, never caring what they might think.

But why should I care what they think? I am my own person and what they believe or think of me should never, ever come between me and what I truly desire. But, Yuna, you must understand that the people of Spira have always mattered. Why else did I become a summoner in the first place? Why did I sacrifice my first love, Tidus, if it wasn't for them? My whole life has always revolved around them, ever since I was born, when my father left for his job, to rid Spira of Sin forever. It's always been for them….

And here I am, a women sleeping soundly beside me, unaware of the turmoil I am going through. How could I sacrifice everything for her, for one night of frenzied passion? Or will it be only one night? No, it must never happen again! I must not let myself give in to these desires that course through me, sinking in to every bone of my body….

Oh but why can't I? If I can't have Paine, if I can't do what I want, then what is the purpose of life? Why must I live for other people when most of them have forgotten me, forgetting the sacrifices that I made and are still making for them? I just want to enjoy life, just like everyone else; live my life as I want it. So why can't I do this? Why can't I fall in love with who I want?

Oh and how I love her. It has only been such a sort amount of time but I am so sure of how I feel, so positive that these emotions running around in my head are the emotions of love. I would never give her up for anything. No fiend will ever put a single paw or finger upon her, and if they even get close, I'll rip them apart.

Suddenly, as I looked at her closed eyes and that small drip of drool oozing out, I felt a surge of emotion, one that made me want to protect her from everything and anything that may come her way. I would never let anything hurt her at all, as long as I'm here. But, how will I protect her from myself? What if I hurt her in some way, shape, or form that makes her cry? Can I stop it from happening now? Oh, if it wouldn't hurt her, I'd stop this right now, just so that I know that I will never hurt her in the future. I'd protect her from afar and let myself suffer in peace, as long as she didn't hurt….

Oh but if I stopped it now then I'd hurt her anyway. I just want her to be happy and to never feel pain ever again. Never, ever…but how will I ever make it like that? How can I ever make things perfect?

I sighed, turning over on my side, placing my back to her. As much as it pained me to turn my back from her, to not be able to grace my eyes with her presence, I couldn't risk the chance that she'd see the tears sliding down my face.

Oh these stupid tears! Why am I crying anyway? Is it this feeling of hopelessness that pounds through my veins at each beat of my heart? I can't decide what I should do. One part of me knows that this love affair could never last long, because once the whole of Spira knows it could never continue. But why can't it continue? Why couldn't I make it work? If I just forgot all about those stupid people who were appalled at such an idea of two women, together, then I could live happily ever after with Paine.

Yet, the other part of me wants this love to continue on until the end of time. And it's so hard because both of these halves are no more stronger than the other, both having equally strong arguments, and neither can gain the upper hand. So here I am, laying beside her, both of us naked as the day we were born, torn between two extremes, two different destines.

Why is this so hard? I just want to live and love and be happy. Without Paine how can I do any of this? Why can't the people of Spira understand how I feel?

Well, then again, who says that they won't understand? I'm just assuming that they won't like it and never forgive me for doing such a thing. What if they don't care who I love, whether it's a girl or boy, and just accept me for who I am? Oh that would be so happy and a dream come true! But, somehow, I know that this will ever happen. I can only dream about it in my sleep, nothing more.

Sigh.

Of all the things….

I turn back over, laying on my other side, just so that I can look at her sleep once more. I find that I love her more than ever as I watch her, in such a peaceful slumber, that my heart aches. How could I ever leave such a beauty behind? How could I ever give this up for anything? At that moment, when I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her close to me, the half of me that wanted to stay with her through thick and thin won out. But I knew it wouldn't last long.

Two choices.

But only one answer.

I told myself to go back to sleep, to forget about it for now, to just enjoy the time I had with Paine right now. What will come will come, and there's no point in worrying about it now. Just enjoy her….

I feel asleep and didn't arise again until I felt a hand brushing my hair back, petting my head with the most gentle of touches.


End file.
